No Frills

Thanks for a lovely project...

2007-12-09T02:04:00.000Z

3:56 = raving hippy hurling abuse. Look, it really did burn.

You've come a long way baby

2007-09-17T11:20:00.001+01:00

As I sit amongst the pink flowers in my living room, I am more aware of the come down that kicked in yesterday morning.

I woke up with an over whelming sense of reality. The rain reminding me of my current climate. My bank account ruling my options and yet again, saying goodbye to someone I love.

I’m fairly numb about it all. Choosing to home in on the factors I can change in the here and now, rather than scratching my increasingly ginger head on my life and its masterplans.

To try and define this years burn would seem a pointless struggle. Lessons were learnt, rules broken and countless unique mind blowing moments. And of course, The People.

The story so far....

2007-08-22T05:35:00.000+01:00

I started writing in a diary gifted to me by Zero on my first trip to Brighton but I have the oppertunity to update just now so I will...

There has already been some up and down moments. There was always the rough and the smooth but here, right now the smooth just feels feel right. Its tipping the balance to the perfect levels. The bad never seems as bad here. My content rambling may be the product of having a smoke with Mr Tuesday in the garage now named the 'Safety Meeting Hut' but I dont really care. Good to know my tolerance levels are still pretty sharp!

But maybe the reason I am pretty happy is that I was sitting outside chatting and I was drawn into Hagey's comfy chair imside without saying a word and had someone play me the Beatles. Que the playa name story! And the Beatles tunes to just seem to keep on coming! Kiwi gave me the knowing wink and walked off giggling away.

Captain: The mission has apparently now begun and I'm scared.

Ok the power has just cut out for the 3rd time - must go invesigate and the Beatles tunes continue to play..... 'But the fool on the hill

Made me smile, crazy lady

2007-08-02T22:19:00.000+01:00

Gotta really watch it to the end tho!

Postie Art?

2007-07-31T19:28:00.000+01:00

3rd year lucky I take it - I never get anything through the mail!

Just what I needed although the postie scribbled on it - postie art?

Sunday Supper

2007-07-29T19:15:00.000+01:00

Its starting to get a bit mental now. I'll get to the Burning Man bit later but I have more important (yup what could be more important than 3 weeks before you hit the dust) issues to deal with. If I dont have a random sleeping in the room next to me on Wednesday night then I will be shelling out A SHIT LOAD of cash which I dont have. The hunt is now hitting its 3rd week and Shauna and I have been prowling every web site we can think of to find a new flat mate. Sure we have met people. We have done fuck all else, everything has been put on hold until we find the right person to move in. We dont want to make any life style sacrifises and it's proving to be rather difficult.

Time will tell and just lets hope thats soon.

But today's less grim news is that my love for poi has now moved to the staff. I went on a day's course with these guys http://www.tepooka.org/ and never picked one up until about 5 hours ago and I love it. Tried my hand at plate spinning,juggling,poi,contact juggling,staffing and even had a bash at stilt walking (the hardest part was making yourself fall down!) Great venue (loads of costumes and props kicking about) and patient friendly folks so it was a happy day. I did have to remove myself from the room once before I completely lost it with the poi. So the arms ache and I can feel a muscle in my bum so I'm guessing thats a good thing! Next project after the burn - buy practice staff. In the meantime our mop broke in the week (how convenient)so I will do some mop twirling!

So back to the house situation - House Muva is moving out. This I think is going to make The Ranch alot happier place and well I think its going to please me a lot more. We are so similar in so many ways but in other aspects we really rub one another up the wrong way and when we do its not nice. I dont like going back to an unhappy home - no one does. But its also will erase the mother daughter situation which is strange looking from it from the outside. We both think its going to be worth the wait as no one we have met so far we could even live with for one day. Even just to keep the money coming in - our search has been soul destroying. I know my week already - I have to keep EVERY night free to be around to meet potential flat mates. That means I gotta leave work early which then merits early starts,which disturbs every fucking plan I have been planning for these next few weeks for just erm the last YEAR!

Please someone come live with us.

Well cheers for the rant. I feel much better - time to make el cheapo lunch for tomorrow and trawl the net for some more homeless boring people....

Saturate

2007-06-28T19:17:00.001+01:00

So the story goes Mr Colin Murray always starts his slot with an epic tune from a genre you are always suprised to hear him play and he played this

First tune in a while which had it all. For me anyways or maybe its the ever so slightly tinny pungent base.
Never caught the name of it and months later discovered it was the Chemical Brothers. DJ Yoda slipped it into his set at Rockness as I scream at people 'This is the tune!' A day later you can imagine the state of me when the creators played it live as I stand there for that split second you stop dancing and realise where you are. In this occasion it was standing with my hands to the sky,glancing behind the lasers and looking at the loch,mountains and looking around me at an equally pleasing view. The bass under my wellies and ready to catch that next beat to carry me forward.

But remember...

I'm not a Raver.

2007-06-18T21:35:00.001+01:00

Young love is beautiful,
Old love is rare...

Human Again?

2007-06-17T11:19:00.000+01:00

For the past week I have been obsessed by Daft Punk and Rockness in general. Flashbacks of the randomness:

Encouraging the small Happy Birthday singsong at the back of the campsite canteen tent into a a grand old sing song. Awww but they did thank me.

Overheard phone conversations such as 'Na false alarm its an ice cream van' or 'Can you hear better with your glasses off?'

How does that happen in a porta loo?

Continualy boucning into the Bestival tent over the 2 days, strutted our stuff and exited as glamorus as we entered. Spontaniously kissing girls in there.

Being nice to wasted people & returning wallets full of cash.

Kissing girls.

A shameful conversation which started off me sitting on the lav in a porta loo,smoking and on the phone to Muffin to which then ended me bursting out the loo on the hearing of 'Hey Boy, Hey Girl' and screaming excitidly running down a hill while she was still on the phone.

Chemical brothers closed the first night with a perfect set. Complete with the unexpected song I thought I would never hear live 'Surface to Air'. Happy fucking days.

Jenni rocking it up in the middle of the tent during Daft Punk complete with fur jacket and cowboy hat! Jeeez thats a cosy girl.

Having the smallest 'Speed Bump' of a tent. But still enjoying waking up with the festival spirit.

Hanging out with a cool chick called Mel. Between us we created the weekend of perfect timings! Thanks for the fun sweetheart x

Rockness did steal the Bombay Sapphire and the acid but it did give me a whole load of must needed fun and its taken me into at least 2nd gear in the whole socialising thig.

So I should give a quick lowdown on the whole this years burn plans to 1.get them out my head and 2. confirm certain doubts and anxiety that I have been having.

But there is a whole mass of things to untangle there and to be honest I would rather keep alot of it to myself. With some things you dont have the mental ability to be able to fully communicate your thoughts and feelings and the past 4 months have been one of those.

But the thing I am working on the most will be my new camp. I have turned full circle with The Peoples Tent and will be playing for a few hours on the afternoon before on the Sunday Temple Burn. Which is a big deal to me. I always seem to pick tunes when I'm in a room full of people and no one complains so I suppose I just need to think of it like that! You know me, its a Sunday afternoon and I'm likely to do what I love best....try chill you all out and refresh you for the coming evening. Its weird how I feel about the whole situation as I seem to have gotten some comfort from a wonderful camp who i have not even met yet. So thats surly a positive sign. I'm really looking forward to meeting everyone. Omar, the guy who I have had most contact with is an exceptional gentleman and I'm already in his debt! I was thinking about making some blank contact cards to hand out. Catch up and get those real world contact details of the lovely randoms you had meet all week.

Well I'm going to continue along on my productive Sunday. I have emails to send and name my said event but must get away from this beautiful yet tiring machine before my eyes really do go square. But I was standing with a huge mug of coffee in my kitchen at 7am ready to take on the day...

Human Robot

2007-06-12T19:07:00.000+01:00

Its been almost been 48hrs since I experienced some of this...

It had been almost an hour and a half since Soulwax had played their last tune and the crowd were restless for a beat. I booed along with the rest of them when 40 minutes after their scheduled time they still were no announcements made. What the fuck was going on? Technical hitch? Eh,would you leave someone on hold for 40 minutes without telling them the reason why? Or worse still - they were not on site. Thats my bitch about Rockness 2007 - communication issues. One side of the tent was removed to either cool the continualy packed tent or allow the thousands who queued for hours to catch a glimpse of these two mysterious Frenchman. Start of their set...

I managed to get in the tent just before they ripped one of the sides off which was the icing on the cake for me. Ruth was an essential, just not fucking practical. Mels kick ass idea of blagging a bin bag fromn one of the vendors (Thank you Mrs Cup of Tea Stall and a big FUCK YOU to the Sausage Man)and sticking our jackets in it which then wouldnt matter if it was on the floor. Perfect considering that we ended up on the original barrier round the tent which everyone had pissed against! This barrier was no end of fun. A gap of about 7 feet between me and the crowd outside. Looking back, throwing shapes with the most excellent pair of fluffy neon gloves at the crowd with their infectious smiles staring back at me. I was very happy and danced my ass off.

The next clip rolled in at a very good time for me and I'm sitting here with goosebumps with it on repeat! Thank you Youtube and those people who can be arsed taking pics at gigs.

Pit Stop....need to eat.

Patriotic Party People

2007-06-08T11:16:00.000+01:00

Away to Rockness

last years headliner....

Sunny says.....

2007-04-04T18:12:00.000+01:00

Happiness is sunshine. Wow, its amazing. I'm currently lying on my bed with the sunshine streaming through the windows. If I had a display panel you would see how much this is re-charging me. Not felt the sun on my skin in months. Maybe the world wont seem so shitty now summer is on its way. It may have saved me making stupid decisions and generally give me some more positives vibes.

Ooooh shit went down at work today. So for the last month my work has been rather difficult. First off, its office politics. David, a colleague and a guy we have had round for cups of tea and lifts to work advised that I should have a wee word with another collegue about her standard of work and if she is not careful she may loose her job. He is a manager and likes a bit of gossip so I decided to have a 2 week think about this. Weighing up how the other person is going to react. There was still a bit of angst so I decided to give the heads up to Kirstie. It didnt go down well (understandably) and basically management were not happy and to make matters worse - it was all lies. He denied saying this when confronted and went off on holiday for a week. I was up to 90 last night knowing he was coming back from holiday to get his hands slapped. Eh no. he was told to resign - which he did. Soooooo gossip is flying round the room, David has quit and I'm trying to convince people I'm nor a gossip or a grass!

Anyways.....back to that sunshine!

Stirling Smiles

2007-04-03T18:35:00.000+01:00

Everything felt a bit more worth while today. A wee trip to Stirling Castle. Great to get out the office. Vic let me pick flowers from the car and got to meet many a people I have a good old natter on the phone to. Oh and the sun was out.

Therapy

2007-03-26T18:11:00.000+01:00

Hello one and all, time for a wee bit of a catch up.

A lovely weekend was had a few weeks ago when the Jurtle & Dougal came to visit. Getting these buggers in the same place at the same time is a bit of an effort so it just makes it all so much more worthwhile. Saturday's plans were all on a whim and we ended up visiting the village where I used to live (Gullane) after meeting them at the station. Due to horrific traffic and my lack of patience we went via an ice cream shop to dull the anger. So we sat and shared ice cream and ended up on an empty, blowy and grey Scottish beach. very beautiful and much fun. Dougal brought a kite which the wind tore it shreads and resulted at us all running for cover as it hurtled towards us which would surely decapatate us. Of course no visit to the beach is complete without the obligitory paddle. The country or the current state of weather makes no difference to this experience but wading about in the North Sea in March is one that you aint forgetting in a while. I prepared myself for this task by running about in very large circles (seemed so much more exciting than running in a straight line) until the cold numbed my feet and I was no longer able to feel the freezing water. The parental unit were out for the weekend so it worked well when Muffin could have a wee nose around someone elses house and we could get a cuppa to set us on our way back to Edinburgh.
Doubts that spending over £20 on magnets was a waste of money were cleared up when Dougals new purchase kept us entertained for hours creating various games with his magnets. I think the boys were entertained slightly longer to sit up and write the very comprehensive rules. Another creation was 'Collins'.
The father came round for breakfast before his trip to Glasgow and then Italy at the end of the month and I was happy that some very important people in my life were able to meet him. It went down well and I think Muffin and I have yet another connection....
Sunday was a trip west to see Faithless and the Southerners got to see another Scottish culture. Faithless were outstanding just a pitty the venue wasnt. Hey conference centres were not built for amplified music but beggars cant be choosers and I shouldnt be such a music snob! Shauna and Jenni came and strutted their stuff, great to have a mix of folks.
Muffin sums up the end of the night perfectly by crashing on my bed and laughing our tits off. First mistake was published and I think this function on my new phone should only be used in special circumstances. Or not at all if I find out its costing me....
Unable to sleep so let the hazy,sleepy talking pish commence.

Was sad to see my burners leave. As usual,I never remember saying goodbye to Dougal - I'm usually stuck to the pillow and for those further a field I cant bare the goodbyes. The way I see it (advice taken from a long distance relationship) 'If I dont go away I cant come back'.

Been major tensions in The Ranch. I knocked it on the head and called a meeting. Things are better but I think I will see the summer out and get use of the garden and then its pastures new. I also recieved a text from House Muva having a wee bitch (paranoid moment whatever you wanna call it) about me. Obviously the text wasnt for me and I recieved it by accident. Oooops! I was more angry then anything that she didnt say it to my face but everyone is allowed a bitch. Just sucks when you actually send it to them. Its instant karma if you think about it....

Been freaking out about my change in camp for Burning Man. Dont get me wrong I have made the right choice not camping with the hostel this year - I cant wait to take the different route home. Verboten kick ass already and I'm taking the slow and shaky steps of introducing myself to my new camp mates. But I'm going to miss so many new people and miss out in meeting so many people with the hostel. Esp around my part of the world. So I'm afraid the hostel hasnt got rid of me yet! I was so fortunate to get out with the set up crew last year with the BRIBH and if you ever get the chance to go - fucking GO! Jeeez its a fabulous city and its beautiful to watch it grow.

Work is like a whirlwind and I'm being prompted to fill in further education forms - goodbye free time. Also some shit went down and I got involved. More on that later.

I'm having relationship issues - no one is an expert in this field but I'm looking at it in the perspective that im learning from it. Be that good or bad.....most lovely sex though.

Must nail down and get my head on for Verboten playlists. They have everything done 2 months before the burn so its a pretty tight ship!

Discovered my necklace gift is a much more satisfying gift to make than my scarves.

I really need a tailors dummy. Squinty skirts anyone?

My mate Rhia asked me to join their household. Happy place and will keep me in mind for my potential autumn move.

Pretty much brought myself up to date. Now for some ironing.....

2007-03-25T18:08:00.001+01:00

No Nicotine

2007-03-22T20:12:00.000Z

A very brief update;

Giving up smoking.
Knarly Bitch
Cant concentrate

Who said this was a good idea?!

I want to cry.

AAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!

Mistake 1

2007-03-19T01:43:00.000Z

Quote Turtle - I love the chosen one,Dougal Quote - Ya bumbacha

2007-03-13T20:56:00.000Z

Love & Kisses just aint' business on Ebay

Test

2007-03-10T18:57:00.000Z

Work?

Disclaimer - Due to the unavailiablility of Muffin I had to resort to a rant

2007-02-27T18:36:00.000Z

If only I had written this about 10 minutes ago this post would be in a better vibe. I caught up with my dear Captains blog and it did not bring happy news. Although Patrick Bateman is a nice chap.

I'm not writing this knowing she will read this but I'm having to rant out the initial shock. Said dear Captain wont be making the burn this year. It really is a case of you know one year its going to happen, but you never want it to be this year!

You cant go to Burning Man and make no connections with anyone, its fucking impossible - Ok minus Dickie. So at my first burn I stumbled across Jess. Claire dishing out amateur advice on how to deal with our crazy environment and hide in trash trailers. Who knew that in a few days time we would be partners in crime, she would become my Captain Muffin and me, her Sgt pepper. There has been too many priceless moments to note on here to enforce how much I will miss her on the playa this year. Anyone close to me knows how much this girl means to me. Not only that of course, her husband who can only be described as fabulous wont be sharing his cool, calm and collected vibe also. Another cruel twist to the tail is that she is a friend that I don't see too often and its just knowing for one week I get to see her everyday. Maybe thats just me being selfish.

I have so many people that I miss. So many people to look forward to seeing again. But I'm allowed to feel disappointed because I know I'm helpless in this situation. Jeeez we all know how much burning pinches the pocket. People do it on a shoe string, I do it on a flip flop. It was a brave and wise choice to help her in their first foot steps in marriage and their possibly nautical new life!

But I know if she could, then she would, because I know she wants to see that man burn as much as I do.

2007-02-19T22:20:00.000Z

Audial Pleasure 16

2007-02-19T19:32:00.000Z

Seduce.

Song - Strict Machine
Artist - Goldfrapp

Come gather people

2007-02-14T18:09:00.000Z

I bought a new thing. So lets have a wee catch up.....

*Insert pic here when camera is found*

Beautiful hu! My lovely all singing, all dancing, not a single scratch on it G4 Powerbook. Enough storage to keep all the photos of the beautiful people and the music to fuel my soul. DVD+RW/CD-RW is just decadence but fuck it. Ebay special.

Justification - 1. I got my job regraded and turns out they have been getting cheap labour from me and threw a bit more cash my way. Which I have almost spent the annual raise in 4 days. Yup I could have put it towards my debt in dribs and drabs every month or spend it on something that's a dead cert to make me smile.

2. Shauna has moved into the craft room - she deserves a trophy having spent almost a year in a single bunk bed in a room I have pissed bigger in. Which of course meant that my computer had to go back into my room. Not cool. Being a daily/constant computer user and working in an office, these fuckers do tend to take over your life. Also I dont/cant really loose anymore space.

3. Many changes in Pepperland since the turn of the year so I figured this could redress the balance in my favour

Erm slight interruption.....my dad has just turned up at my door - how lovely but what the fuck?!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Ah yes, where was I.....

I justified my new laptop so lets get over that one.

Its been a weekend of yet again sorting shit out. The Ranch looks like a jumble sale and everything is waiting for somewhere to live. I know I have the advantage of not having all my worldly possessions in this house and just need to find the patience to deal with other peoples shit until they get round to moving it. Yes patience is a virtue! I am find it increasingly difficult to try and get any further forward of anything I start nowadays. I spend half the time moving other peoples 'stuff' before I even start crafting it up/cooking etc etc. Which is tiring.

But hey....

So dad randomly pitched up at my door the other night. I was aware that he was due to come back to the UK to get surgery on his back on the Saturday but as always I never have much detail. He seemed in alot of pain and its got to the stage that he is clutching at straws and its hard to not get your hopes and expectations raised if you live a life of pain and someone is offering to help you even though this will be the third op.But then again he tells me he may not be operated on this weekend. I asked him to let me know but I knew that may be asking too much. Fears were not exactly calmed when I received texts to call one of my dads friends last night( I sometimes think that was the worst things I did - giving my number to one of his good mates) to tell me he was given injections of some sort and then discharged himself and switched his phone off. But my dads friend seemed happy that I was worrying about my dad for some morbid reason. Ah the father saga fucking returns again. Its Sunday afternoon and I still haven't heard from him. I know he will be ok - I hope. I hope he got the train and didn't drive to the hospital....

Dougals Fear & Loathing bash was a grand occasion. Dougal was hosting so as you can imagine the place was lit up like eh Vegas (funny that) and there was lots of happy people complete with fire poi! Very exciting. I believe someone fell in and actually quite gutted I missed seeing it! I was also was a very happy lady to find that two sneaky burners had made their way up from Brighton to come visit. Well hello Zooty & Zero! How wonderful it was to see them. I just suck up the energy those two produce. Porcelain was across visiting Dougal so it was great to see her again since we last met in the dust.

So in my masterplan to deal with some issues that have been hanging around me for a while I have managed to tackle quite a large chunk of one of them. I went to visit family back in the borders a few weeks ago. Primarily to see my little sister Charlotte. It had been since last August so i was a little nervous and anxious to see how things were going to fly down there. Especially since I didn't have Dad's house to escape to if anything got rough so to speak. There was no need really. Everything went well. Possibly due to the fact that I didn't say as half as much as i wanted to. Circumstances didnt permit me getting alot of things off my chest but it does make it easier to go down and visit. But reassurances were had when my sister and I had a wee heart to heart and I know everything is cool between us.

On the brighter side of life....

I feel a million emotions about my next news. All completly positives and I have 6 months to rattle on about those but guess what.....nope....not that....nearly.....

I have been invited to join Club Verboten The Peoples tent No 8! I am ecstatic to have been accepted. I'm travelling to the Burn on my own this year so I thought how about I just do it all differently and try my hand with another camp. I loved the set up at Verboten and genuinely thought that these guys had it sorted. Or in other words if I ever I ever wanted to be part of another camp I would love to join this vibe - and I got the opportunity to. Eplaya shout out for international burners so I grabbed the chance for a bit of a change, get out my comfort zone once again for help and hopefully I will be able to help them in return! I still have major ties with the hostel. How can you ever meet those wonderful people and not go back! I still will swing by the hostel and if I can give any help then I know I will always lend a hand. Back to Verboten...they love music - I love music how much fun is this gonna be!!!

Still spending time with Byron. Had a slight spanner in the works which I wont go into full detail here but some concerns. His actions some what contradicts whats he says. Which confuses things on my be-half...I think. (sigh) Tis not need to be complex! Hmmm unfamiliar territory perhaps. But what I do like is that it is relaxed, I hope we no longer have any expectations and its the simple things that we do together makes me happy!

I have spent too long typing but it does make thing better putting this to paper. A bit of an off load is needed and that's why I ramble on here. To get it off my chest and laugh my ass off at it months later. Ok must eat soup and do maintenance

Hope all is tip top ya all x

Scab?

2007-02-01T18:53:00.000Z

Another 2 joined us and well we managed to stop the mail van.....

2007-01-23T19:22:00.000Z

Your Penis Name Is...

Bavarian Beefstick

Penis Name Generator

Runny nose

2007-01-23T18:34:00.000Z

Today my boss only spoke to me through a rolled up people management magazine. Quite ironic I think. Slightly annoying but at least it made him smile. Been having a wee tough time dear work husband so I will continue to let him take the piss out of me/throw stuff at me/use all my staples and pile them on my desk etc etc.

Confirmed today that I will be taking part in my very first industrial action next wednesday. Im really going to miss the money that will be docked this month but it must be done. I cant cross the picket of the union I got involved in picking up the pieces of.

The weekend caused me to have a nice blister on my left index finger due to my excess knitting. I'm determed to finish this ball of wool and took every spare oppertunity to get my knitting fix. Although tension clearly too tight.

I also manged to slice my finger open with a nail file.....twice.

I played accomodation host to Dougal and a mate who were visiting Edinburgh. Antics in the friendly-behind-bars -kinda-way off licence was had. Finding out if she was a Lambrini girl and suggesting alcohol brands to Americans who dont really know what they got themselves in for when purchasing a 3ltr bottle of frosty Jack cider. Excellent customer service was had with the Scottish selection of alcohol. I drew the line at Buckfast and being told they dont even bother to put the above cider on the shelf as they sell so much of the stuff. Brilliant.

Scored a $195 ticket for Burning Man and very happy to hear others did too.

Booked flights for said event.

Went to opticians....getting more blind

P.S Captain! Your Sargent really needs a word......sweetheart pick up your phone x

On its rounds...stolen from Muffin

2007-01-16T19:24:00.000Z

Must do 1

2007-01-11T21:11:00.000Z

My soul needs a music festival this year in any shape or form.

Ranch Quotes 1

2007-01-10T17:48:00.000Z

House Muva: The kids were playing up today'
Shauna: 'That's cos they know the end is neigh'

Start with a song

2007-01-03T16:58:00.000Z

So my blog has been used for the last couple of months to either put photos up to prove I'm not dead or rattle on about something really quite trivial. So this now can be a bit of both...

So its a new year....all the best and that malarky. First day back at work after the New Year today and didnt exactly start off feeling all fresh and revived. Very shouty boss and another off ill. Saviour was a 3pm finish. I was this close to walking out. Making me doubt my new masterplans concerning my ahem career.

Im not one for resolutions but I have started (yes the wheeels are in motion) dealing with the long list of changes/improvements that must be made in my life. The first one up is that old favourite...family. I have found a solution to the problem which could turn out to be the best thing I can do or of course the worst. Time will tell, well end of January actually.

The Ranch is sometimes not a happy place to live.

I'm giving up smoking weed during the week. Starts next Monday of course.

I'm seeing a rather nice boy who I look forward to hanging out with on our working v's student lifestyles. Or did I just jinx it?........

House Muva bought me a happy spotty black and white (classy) teapot.

An alternative Christmas day was had after the parentals dropping me back home early afternoon (declining the offer to stay for a drink....not that it was Christmas or anything) to pull huge home made crackers made by Shauna's brother's boyfiend Rick which contained many a suprise gift and we raced our balloons down the street. Rick turned out to be an amazing photographer and abstract artist. I took a real shinning to one of his prints and in my genuine however wasted interest asked for a copy. One was granted in exchange for some random gift however 2 more days of nonsence ment and the deal wasnt done. I will however try and get his email and work something out.

Even though Ben smashed sprouts with a hammer we had a beautiful dinner followed by much excitement in using the new tea pot.

Our visitors had brought some delightful substances and used up all my owed wasted phone calls to Dougal as I lock myself in my room to listen to Faithless to escape from the intense family chat that was going on downstairs.

Boxing Day the Duvet Day. Managed to get dressed only after realising in my wasted state that Dougal was coming to visit and we rule at Cranium. Nice to see a bit of family at Christmas.

Back to work. Office parties. Offering my boss 'boob sweat'.

Hogmanay = Wild weather and lots of walking. House party with good drum and bass DJ and a gold dust and a big new-year-treat-to-myself taxi home.

New Years day was spent raking leaves from the decking and drinking lots of tea. Some things never change but here's to 2007. Cheers!

Certain base line

2006-12-16T18:18:00.000Z

Im a bit broken but I had to share....the flash never really picked up the warm welcome as you walked down the stairs and he made me a happy lady by giving me a quick smile for the camera.

In coming base line alert is ON!

2006-12-15T17:17:00.000Z

3 hours 45 mins I will be in the same room as Scruff...

I'm almost smiling as much as I was earlier at our Christamas doo with the saving grace who is Kirstie and my work husband Vic

Stolen from Gala

2006-12-14T20:33:00.000Z

Your asking me

2006-12-10T12:41:00.000Z

Upon waking today I saw the positive that I didnt wake up feeling rough as hell, body aching from so much dancing and a mouth like a badgers arse. Why not? Because my Saturday night was Scruffless.

My gigging buddy had been ill and the week and was most gutted that he couldnt make it. At the last minute I had no one to take the ticket so I just wrote it off.....

However I have rallyed together a fine bunch of troops for his gig next weekend. Some the only time I will see over Christmas and some who want to use Scruff as their Birthday doo and some who have never seen him before so as you can imagine I will be in my element.

Arranged Christams day plans by creating a happy medium for all. Off down to the parental unit when I finish up from work. Use their kitchen to do my contribution to The Ranchs Misfit Dinner and have a nice Christmas breakfast with the them before heading back in to Edinburgh. House Muva informed me that I would be missing out on the champagne & c...... breakfast which is insisted apon from Brunch. My first year not at home so lets see what its like. New Year plans are still up in the air and no doubt stay like that until 9pm on the 31st. A very welcome invite to spend it in Brighton was had but I dont think the cash can be found. I think my best New Year has yet to come and its always been pretty shitty time of year to be honest.

So this time last weekend I think I was lying in the snug with a wonderfuly wasted bunch of people. Yup it was decom. Amazing night was had bumping into old and new. Connections had and not seeing enough of some.

2006-12-09T14:12:00.000Z

Giddy.....

My bad?

2006-11-27T19:43:00.000Z

When you are usually a strict follower of your own personal morals you can be just a little bit evil sometimes.....if the joke isnt taken too far.

Song - Brick
Artist - Ben Folds Five

Story line

2006-11-25T16:21:00.000Z

Awake and ready to leave the house at a social hour for a Saurday and decompression ticket in the mail started the day off in good stead. Although you can never go shopping too early at this manic time of year and after crossing enough off my to do list and loosing the will to live I got the noisy bus home.

Thats enough effort for one day.

Incoming baseline alert

2006-11-22T20:30:00.000Z

Decadence is seeing Mr Scruff 2 weeks in a row....

Oh yes

And todays passage is....

2006-11-20T18:33:00.000Z

Well Your faith was strong but you needed proof
You saw her bathing on the roof
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you
She tied you to her kitchen chair
and She broke your throne and she cut your hair
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Alot of hair

2006-11-19T21:39:00.000Z

A to B

2006-11-16T21:02:00.000Z

So I was thinking....

Is my official form of transport a yellow submarine?

Serve Chilled

2006-11-13T21:12:00.000Z

This past week I have mostly been hiding away. Its also been quite amusing at times.

For instance, yesterday I decided to catch some flies for the spider that has taken to living among Lucifer (Devils Ivy which takes over our kitchen) who is still in costume cobwebs from our halloween bash. although I do like the stars which are hanging from her think we should keep those on. Well I was uneventful in my search for flies and I figured House Muva is going to kill it when she gets back anyway. Leave it to its own munch. That was probably the only really constructive thing I did that day.

I also woke to a feeling I hadnt felt in a while. I woke up feeling nothing. I couldnt give a fuck about anything, not even to open those curtains. Serious bad vibes on the initial waking up thoughts. That scared the shit out of me. Now when your day progresses and you begin to feel like that then its managable. But to wake up and feel like that then if you have been there you-know-what-im-talkin-about.

Shauna and I 'pottered' for 6 hours on Saturday. Both pausing to sit down when Radio 4 caused our brians to become heavy and had to sit down quite a bit.

I was misunderstood by a boy.

Scruff is playing at the Arches. Fucking damn you cheeky chappy DJ! Play in Edinburgh....geeez. Glasgow is a bastard to get home after a gig but its ever so slightly worth it.

Father - Daughter relationship is once again on a shoogly hook. His 50th Birthday bash really is going to be in a Shamless style and really I should be thankful for this entertainment in my life. I have aunts and uncles I'm supposed to know, grand parents I dont get on with, little sister, her mum and my dad in the same room. Just stand back and just watch that baby blow. oh yeah and no where to stay. But no I cant get the last train home....Because ur ma daughter and I dont get to see you and aghh the inability to ever see my point of view. Oh and while your at it whats Standard Lifes shares cos I have 500. Dad....I dont fucking know.

Decom....woohooo.

Decom...oh shit.

Work feels like slave labour and I will soon be unable to keep up with demands with my current head space. Those great good intentions that I mutter to myself every night.....get an early start in the morning. Not now I have HEATING in my room.

And ending of course on a positive......scored a sewing machine.

Audial Pleasure no....fuck knows what

2006-11-08T21:49:00.000Z

It can only be shared.

Song - Surface to air
Artist - The Chemical Brothers

Happy Halloween

2006-10-31T18:29:00.000Z

So The Ranch's halloween bash was a success, people left happy leaving behind a trail of disaster. After some boot on a power trip in the supermarket decided not to sell me alcohol as she thought I was underage. Im 24 for fucks sake and no I didnt take it as a compliment. You can get illegal drugs easier than this. Usual suspects and some randoms. Steve wins best costume due to incorporating a VW badge on to his staff.

House mother is perfecting her story telling skills on me. Last night I had an interactive story of tales of firemen and pirates and the end result was me wearing a news paper hat. Fantastic really.

Its Samhuinn tonight and I'm deliberately wearing shitty clothes so I have no temptation to go to the Bongo Club after it. Lets see if it works...

Start spreadin' the news

2006-10-23T18:43:00.000+01:00

When it comes to adventures in my own country I always seem to go North but last week I was thrown almost as far west as you can get (in a kind of South-West Scotland kinda way). A week in Stranraer in a grand old hotel which was build and owned by an explorer (Trying to find the North West passage and died in the process). I didn't expect to stumble across an ice rink in the place but I did. Now that was a bit weird. But someone making your bed in the morning and every meal served to you and a TV, well I can live without the TV so the hospitalities were all good.

It was really nice being next to a port as well. I'm really not sure why but maybe knowing that all these people lined up outside my bedroom window were on some sort of sea adventures. Even though if most of the traffic were lorries….

They woke me up every night but I never had the energy in me to actually go and see the ferry so I decided to wait until Friday night and there it was.

I had not even seen a ferry in years. Well that's a lie I should say viewed one up close. But I have not stepped foot in one since I was about 8 when I went on my first trip to Norway and flash backs of a seriously choppy sea and the biggest elastic bands I have ever seen trying to keep me in my bed at night. I like ferries….they are like the traditional form of transport…innit?

The course was fantastic. I'm not going to be able to give the course enough credit than is due with my pitiful vocabulary but put it this way it did everything it said it would in the mission statement. I was forced to view my opinions publicly on many topics and every morning our small group of 4 had to answer a question and present our opinions to the rest of the room. A few questions which we answered:

Does Britain's foreign policy provide ammunition for extremists?

Would you stand up to a gang of thugs?

Is university education worthless?

Along with hearing some fantastic pieces of writing on any subject under the sun (Cane Frogs V's USA was one that stuck out for me!) Along with some hilarious rapping about lentil soup and a beautiful 2 minute speech why being a father was the best job in the world by a 20 year old which brought me to tears only 20 seconds in.

Some guests speakers varied from an ex heroin addict, a guy doing fantastic work for AIDS in Africa and a guy who's daughter was killed in the Dunblane massacre. In our group was also a lady who had to flee from Afghanistan and an interview was had between her and Ken. It was horrific to hear and I felt embarrassed for the Home Office. The institute also sponsers a delegate from the Findhorn Foundation so an interview was also conducted with one of the delegates from there. Its strange how very little is known about communities in a whole and I was so impressed that their wind turbines provide 100% of their electricity! Never knew that. How wonderful it must be knowing that if/when the world goes tits up they will be left standing. Communities are the way to go people…..

I just mentioned Ken, Kenneth Roy. Unknown to me he used to present the news and had a few debate programmes going on and he was the guy who set up the Institute of Contemporary Scotland who runs the Young Scotland Programme.. I sat at his table on the first night and over dinner he makes you feel like you are the only person he is interested about in the whole room. Maybe that's what 30 years of journalism does to you. He seemed very interested in the area of Edinburgh I lived in and even when I left a week later he wants to come down for a cuppa and have a wander round West Pilton with me. I said I was up for that, safety in numbers and all.

He simply got the best out of you and asked questions in such a beautiful way. You can almost understand how the media can prise as much information out of you – even if you want to or not.

I'm going through a bit of a weird time lately. A few phobias that I thought I had kicked to the kerb a few years ago has reared its ugly head (not in such an extreme thank god) and so I'm a mix up on anxiety and still getting over the whole mix up of my world that Burning Man seams to do to you once you return to the real world.

Public speaking was a nightmare, now I understand no one likes public speaking and I don't think anyone in the room felt very confident and comfortable standing up there but my legs almost couldn't carry me there when my name was called. I wanted my top lip to stop quivering (once that starts I know my heart rate has at least doubled!) and I really did have to fight back the tears and just get over it. You can never develop if you don't push yourself. To my amazement I didn't stumble on a single word but ran a little over time since I had to take great control on the pace of my speech (us Scot's seem to speak quick and even worse when you're a nervous Scot!) So at least that was my argument paper out the way and I justified using planes well when I got asked the inevitable question from the chair!

The next time I 'officially' had to get up there was when I had to ask myself a question and then answer it. I asked myself why I had remembered my dreams every morning that week. For months and months I can't remember dreaming but every morning I would wake up from either swinging through the jungle or being shot down in a Black Hawk helicopter. I explained it must have been my brains release as I had not spent enough time in the bar that week and my brain was having its play-time while I was sleeping. It had been working hard that week due to the great opportunity I had to discuss important issues with like minded people and to think I was going to walk out on Monday as I just didn't have the confidence to walk into a room full of 30 people who would instantly judge me. I almost cried saying thank you and the only way of recovery is to face your fears with the support and encouragement of others.

In light of this, it prevented me joining in the afternoon debates as much as I would have liked. I did however express my opinions….even though if it was just writing them down on a bit of paper. It didn't defeat the purpose. The discussions pushed me to answer questions I had never thought of answering and all in all I have seen the other side of so many issues.

So now I am a 'fellow' of The Institute of Contemporary Scotland and Ken tells me he is having to hang up his hat in a few years and has to pass his baby down to former delegates. I can't believe it is only run by 3 people. I told him not to fuck up my 5 year plan, handed him another rollie and not to tease me with proposals to train me up in presentation skills and tricks only 30 years of experience can explain.

On a different note but one not completely. I got chatting to someone and less than 3 minutes into the conversation I was told I made him feel very much at ease and that I am very easy to talk to. Along with sentences which start like:

'I don't normally say this but….

'You wont mind if I tell you….

'I don't really tell people this but….

This will go into Claire's Lab book of my recent experiment I have been conducting since my return from the burn. Conclusion to be announced shortly…..

Fraggle rock?

2006-10-22T13:46:00.000+01:00

In 15 minutes I can walk to here.

I have been thrown about when it comes to living near the coast or is it water? I dunno. As a kid I watched light houses and I have never been that far away from it. Its a strange comfort.

Ouch

2006-10-11T21:06:00.000+01:00

My chest sounds like an accordian

Gathering

2006-10-09T21:17:00.000+01:00

October is turning into a taxing month for The Ranch.

Our work lives have us running about like blue arsed flies
Tempers are fraying
Run down and generaly a bit pissed off so its time to celebrate the last weekend of it. Quite handy its Halloween too.

Oh and we have been growing pumkins that have taken over the garden like the little shop of horrors...

Audial Pleasure 16

2006-10-08T21:47:00.000+01:00

Song - Aurora
Artist - Foo Fighters

Sleepy Sunday

2006-10-08T21:32:00.000+01:00

Today consisted of the street being plunged into darkness while the little fuckers burned the sub station.

2006-10-08T21:29:00.000+01:00

You Are a Visionary Soul

You are a curious person, always in a state of awareness.
Connected to all things spiritual, you are very connected to your soul.
You are wise and bright: able to reason and be reasonable.
Occasionally, you get quite depressed and have dark feelings.

You have great vision and can be very insightful.
In fact, you are often profound in a way that surprises yourself.
Visionary souls like you can be the best type of friend.
You are intuitive, understanding, sympathetic, and a good healer.

Souls you are most compatible with: Old Soul and Peacemaker Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

You cunts...

2006-10-06T23:16:00.000+01:00

BManUpdate:V11:#1:DECOMPRESSION ISSUE!

Just read it and drool eh...

Forward

2006-10-06T18:20:00.000+01:00

Its Friday and for once in a long time I have that Friday feeling.

The futures bright, the futures the weekend.

Hours of sleep...not fucking enough

2006-10-05T17:55:00.000+01:00

I woke myself up at 5am to haul the laptop in with me and attempt to type with one eye open. By 7.30 I was 75% though it and thought of the perfect excuse that there was no way I was going to submit this today and emailed the organisers. Tomorrow I promise.

I sat on the Royal Mile opposed to Inverness in the pissing rain looking like a fool and bearing my wears of two bowls, chop sticks and peanut M&M's.

Lay in the middle of a grand hall in a plush hotel waiting for everyone to return back from their adventures. Admiring the lights, dreaming of my bed and the thoughts of an early night.

Aye fucking right...I must continue to be sociable tonight with colleagues and my second Pizza Express of the week.

All in the name of flexi time and T&S payments.

Audial Pleasure 15

2006-09-29T21:49:00.000+01:00

Song - Ball and Biscuit
Artist - The White Stripes

Stories

You cant always get what you want (mark 2)

2006-09-29T21:01:00.000+01:00

House Mother wants a dog. She cant have a dog so instead she looks after random peoples. An add on the gum tree is always the start of something interesting.

So we have Ben. He comes to stay from Thur-Sun sometimes. He is old and chilled out and his owners cant look after him as much so he just says hello to everyone, barks in the corner and sleeps the whole time. Find house mother and her bitches. Oh and human Ben.

Biscuit came for the weekend. She arrived with a cot and a manual. Prince charles puppy. Fucking high maintenence 3 seconds in the door, runs up the stairs returning with a pair of my knickers. To then in the 'manual' I am told she has a fetish for them. Also handy tips like her favourite foods are smoked salmon and raw peppers. Her owners were off to a christening in London dahling. But the wife assured us that everything will be fine once they have a baby with a glare at the husband. We were mid dress up when the owners came to collect her...

Cuttings

2006-09-27T17:51:00.000+01:00

A welcome home gathering had been arranged and The Ranch was filed with the carefuly selected few who could handle whatever mood they were to find me in on those critical first nights back in the real world. Add in some Polish visitors and a strange night was had. I died for 12 hours to find the afthermath of a clearly good night.

I was missed by the household which was nice.

And to wake up one morning to find this. Well it actually pointed out to me.....I'm not that sharp in the morning opening our kitchen door

Awww Bless this Ranch!

Thanks for your patience

2006-09-25T19:31:00.000+01:00

Ok so Im not dead.
Normal service will kick back in soon.
I hope so as my emailing/calling list is becoming horrible. I love all the old and new ones and please know that.
Just still trying to complie everything and the longer its taking me the easier its becoming which is nice.

Please just dont fucking mention Burning Man....

Leaving on a jet plane

2006-09-08T07:36:00.000+01:00

Well Im currently on the right side of the Atlantic and trying to enjoy my last night in San Fran. A painless yet hot bus/train journey from Reno this morning gave me the chance to catch up with yet more sleeping.

Dougal and I ate chinese after checking into the hostel. If you can call this eating. I think my stomach has shrunk and my body aint handling the eating thing again too well. Left Dougal to his merry ways as I decided that I would have to force myself to be sociable and that was just too much effort tonight.

But yes, I'm not going to start the full Burning Man rant today. As much as I want to at least have a few things to say about the last 3 weeks I dont think you can fully understand what happened until you are back to your same old same old routine. And on that note I have the joys of fixing my Mac when I get home. Fuck.

But tomorrow I will watch the sunrise from somewhere beautiful in San Fran and go ring shopping. And forget about transatlantic flights.

Really?

2006-08-03T22:25:00.000+01:00

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.
Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you.

You are best known for: your touch

Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Cheese

2006-08-03T18:58:00.000+01:00

My mind is going to melt if I dont stop thinking about the whirlwind which is going on around me just now.

So I got over my Flickr fear. Good thing really as I quite like those memorable pieces of paper. Not as much now as I finaly moved to digital and wooooweee what have I been missing! I have always been snap happy. I have about 10 years of my life (in chronological order of course) in photo albums back home so its nice I can keep up the tradition.

Im still not paying for an upgrade though...

Cheese!

Left or Right?

2006-08-02T18:34:00.000+01:00

It's been a strange ol' week already.

Brit Camp stresses come and go in waves….I go from extremes of 'Yup, everything is tip top' to 'Oh my god we really need to know what's happening here' to 'It will be all good'.

I minor costume drama occurred last night when I came to the conclusion that I had nothing to wear. Which of course is lies. But you never can have enough costumes. So at one point last night I was sitting on my bed, tutu-ed up with my broken bright pink shower scrunchie wrapped round my leg/head/arse debating if this could possibly merit some kind of costume. Not really – I looked like some sort of imitation raver who has a thing for cleaning cloths.

I have become the wedding agony aunt for my boss who is putting on one of the most plush occasions I have been invited too. Along with handing out daily love advice to a very horny new colleague.

Edinburgh is now full steam ahead with its festival goings on. Stages are being put up everywhere and the tourists are taking over the city. Not a day goes by when I don't receive an invite to something. Which of course plays on my conscious that I have to knock back all of them. Being spontaneous is great but I'm afraid 3 weeks before I head off on my adventure. My friends understand I'm sure but it doesn't make it any easier when you want to go out to play and feel awful that every sentence starts…..Dude, its Burning Man in 3 weeks.

But I'm still receiving the invites so that's got to mean something! Its just the case of balance. As long as I get to see the key people before I go then I will be happy. I miss not being able to spend time with them in August. But the good thing is most of them are as busy as I am and also feel slightly guilty that's sometimes we should see more of each other. But I think this is the case with every group of friends. Most of us are hitting that time in our lives that we are either going off in another direction, getting hitched or simply realising what we want to get out of our lives.

The Gullane parental unit is also taking a bit of getting used to my lack of spare time recently. With mum now a lady of leisure she has time on her side. I also get the vibes that she isn't too happy about my adventures and/or future plans. I think its just not being able to understand why I am doing things and also the need for me to do things. And its just not all to do with this thing in the desert. The wandering man however understands, he also has the sense of adventure and making the most of your time you have on this planet. Maybe that's also a reason why mum is digging her heels in a little as well. Like father like daughter….she divorced the man but she still has his daughter with obvious traits from her ex husband! I'm just not sure. I don't see the need to explain my actions to anyone anymore. Its my life and if I want to do something then 90% of the time I will just do it. Or with the rock solid support of my friends who understand certain situations. Maybe I'm getting selfish or maybe I'm just realising that I rated myself as the second most important person in my life rather than the first. My life was on hold because of various factors in some very crucial years and I'm now making up for it. But in all honesty. My parents lives never changed at all when I was born. They still did things they wanted to do regardless of having a child. Even if that did mean leaving me with the neighbours! So why should I change some plans I have for myself to keep them happy? My family always looked after number one and its hard to suddenly deal with the change of tune and wanting to know everything I have planned for my life and giving their 2p on it.

Hmmm I'm thinking the above is my monthly rant fuelled by my hormones. I feel better though. Even if it does reflect I'm a selfish bitch (sorry).

*That was my 10am rant at work - clearly woke up on the wrong side of bed*

Pointy

2006-07-29T22:19:00.000+01:00

I have a masterplan which involves UV paint & sticks. Proper sticks.

Snap happy

2006-07-29T21:19:00.000+01:00

I was woken this morning by the rest of the household mentioning the word fire alot.
Concerned me slightly since some fuckers have already started a fire behind our garden with all the dry grass that has been kicking about lately. As standard, when the fire brigade is called they just burn the lot. Nothing left for those little scamps to burn.

So now its houses. We bundle into Peggy in our dressing gowns and swing by the next block.

The whole estate was out in force and we had to quickly drive back to The Ranch to grab our cameras, hence no pretty flames. Thankfully no one lives in this block - unfortuntely its just going to leave another foul impression about this estate.

The council wont bother it's arse.

A wee jaunt to The Castle to save Claudi and her friends some cash and was a bit gutted that the only time I bring my camera to the castle its a horrible cloudy day. Claudi was hungover after my pub recommendations so not all bad.

A wander down the mile to The Ranch that's looking more like a Blue Peter show every day.
Tourist season is appon us and the Gouranga ladies pray on the weak

Nasty

2006-07-24T21:45:00.000+01:00

House Mother has a dirty dirty mind when she is hungover.

Please find some photos from a fabulous weekend.

Development

2006-07-20T18:04:00.000+01:00

A nomination by my boss has landed me a role in this

You are my sunshine

2006-07-19T18:00:00.000+01:00

So today was predicted to be the hottest day of the year. Yet again they got it wrong. I had a nice little yellow number picked out for today but when I woke this morning I couldn't even see the high rises due to the harr from the sea.

The weather has been brilliant though. Its not often you can stumble along to the bus stop in the morning with your white limbs uncovered and not need to use that back up jumper/umbrella/wellies.

Last Sunday was one of the hottest days Scotland had seen and instead of celebrating this in the garden or somewhere beautiful I had the joys of the hot hot heat and Princes Street. Little sister was up for a visit and I tried to make my melting brain function to entertain the demanding 11 year old but I feel I failed miserably. We did go to the castle and I took her out for lunch. The girl does like to shop though. She wants to be a fashion designer but claims she cant draw. Some big sister encouragement was given and I told her never to give up and if that's what she wants to do then she has it in her to do it. She is a crafty chick like myself and I look forward to my next hosting where I hope she can spend the night and get over excited about scissors, glue and everything shiny.

Saturday was equally beautiful and this was also spent in the world of shopping. However B&Q has adequate air conditioning and much more exciting wears. Who would have thought it…magnetic paint. One purple pot thrown over the isle floor later and I was on my merry way amazed at my new find. House mother tested it out and claimed its crap. I did also remind her that you have to leave it to dry for 4 hours between coats for a reason.

Unexpected yet very welcome guests on their way home from Nowhere on Saturday night. Isnt it nice just filling up your home with wonderful people, coming and going and doing what they please. A letter from Jellyfish from the Nowhere Post office almost brought a tear to the eye but im working on that emotion. No need for tears Claire. But I was happy.

On the subject of filling your home with wonderful people. I have the asolute joy of hosting some of my extended family over the weekend for some relaxing and crafting. We must however also take a trip (sorry pilgrimage) to Leith to satisfy the needs of a certain Captain.

Friday was spent at a very lovely house party and when I asked for a cup of tea I got exactly what I asked for. Complete with saucer, china cup and tea spoon presented to me buy a rather shy man who I then scared shitless buy getting over excited (like I do) about how beautiful their cups were and how tea does taste better in a proper tea cup. Manged to eventually leave after prising off the host who had been clinging to me for the last hour like one of those small monkeys. Bless her.

Folders

2006-07-18T22:13:00.000+01:00

This week I have been mostly using a tupperwear box to drink from . Its quite large and cube like but I really like it.

I also was gifted some beautiful red feather wings from a colleague at work. She was moving house and no longer needed them and knew they wouldnt go to waste if she sent them my way. I will take them home but in the mean time they look rather fetching on the back of my chair.

Brandy

2006-07-13T00:23:00.000+01:00

Mostly used phrases this week:

'Is that the time already?'

'Cup of tea?'

'Bollocks'

'Totally knew that wouldn't work'

'8am start tomorrow'

'Have a good day' - to the funky staff at my local morning coffee stop.

'Just have a wee look in this charity shop'

'I need to go to bed'

Bollocks

2006-07-07T19:08:00.000+01:00

The wandering man was once again in his native land, if only to bump the NHS.
My dad has forever had back problems and after the surgeon removed the wrong disk in his back the last time and messed up the next, I wouldnt be too happy trusting them again. But he is beyond caring. He just wants to be free of the pain.
So he popped by Edinburgh to see his number 1 daughter and as always he had stories to tell and lessons to learn...

A rant about the 'fucking Russians' and how they ripped him off in a garage. He must learn to speak the Estonian/Russian Lingo. Ignoring this he has also bough 5000sq ft of land with a blacksmiths work shop built in 1867 on it.

'Ach a bit of landscaping, get some water and electric in. Build some houses, be worth a fortune'
'Got to get the roof on by winter'

(enter Claire's lecture on back surgery and the need of the healing process here)

The obligatory rant about the state of his family and me once again sharing my opinion that most of them are all fucking absent minded.

It was a brief 2 hour visit but that man is always catching a flight to somewhere...

Thats was Tuesday and now its Friday.

I'm just having a wee typing thing going on here. Its the only thing I can be arsed doing at the moment.
A very relaxed evening here at the Ranch. Radio 4 as always playing from the kitchen while House Mother is experimenting. I'm not partaking in the recent wholefood vibe going on here. The breaking point was last night when I sat down at the computer to find a post-it which read 'Mung Bean Cassorole'. Thats was it. Nae Danger.

I should be finding the shit I am taking down to Gullane tonight and think what I all need to bring back with me tomorrow. Along with a To Do book of things to do - complete with tabs down the side.
Neurotic or organised?

But the headlines for this week:

Brit Camp rules!

The sun shows face in Edinburgh.

One mini project nearly complete.

Yeah I had better try and catch that bus....

Ok! Ok! I'm it....

2006-07-04T14:27:00.000+01:00

....so I have been tagged by Dougal & Jellyfish so I had better do something about it.

I subconsciously colour co-ordinate everything.

I've wanted to be an Astronaught, Farmer, Archaeologist, Dietician, Web Designer, Florist, Chef, Teacher and a councellor through various stages of my life.

I saved my little sisters drowning ass when she was a kid.

I inherited a house wife streak from spending alot of time with my granny growing up. Happy in the kitchen pottering around making scones and such like while making sure people are well looked after.

I have the temper of a red head but rarely completly loose it.

As a child I was petrified of the cookie monster from Sesame Street.

I misplace alot of things.

I was born and hopefully die listening to music. (Unless eaten by cannibals)

Sunday driver

2006-07-02T22:52:00.000+01:00

I was woken today by thunder, my windows open and I could smell the rain. Most refreshing. A text from the Nowhere road trippers saying they were on their merry way to Spain. Sent my good vibe goodbyes and laid back and enjoyed the downpour.

Celebrated House Mothers birthday last night. Wonderful spread in the garden. Decortaed by torches and all things glittery. I made a nest in the garden for all to enjoy while I snuggled on my bed listening to my music declaring the doctor is in and will willing talk to anyone who lies beside me just dont make me move. I was brought gifts of champagne, chocolate and snake venom lollies.

Its been a hazy few weeks. I have not written much about them as my feelings towards things are constantly changing. I'm seeing things in different perspectives and its making me pretty happy.
My blog would be screaming for mercy if I was to pour some dribble on how I feel about it all but I just dont have the time. A little blog rambling on a Sunday is enough for me.

Rockness was something. It was beautiful. Thank you. I cant sum that weekend up into words. Never.

Well must dash. Some more master plans need written down and why is time never on your side?

Mindless

2006-06-20T18:29:00.000+01:00

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"So, you're a cannibal."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Thats fucking brilliant!

Post It

2006-06-19T21:42:00.000+01:00

Well I have been neglecting my duties as a blogger so random events from the last few weeks in 'hot or not' fashion:

Hot

Radio 4.

Wholefood cooking. Your body just thanks you for it....your bank doesnt.

My local charity shops. Sneeking out of work to buy dresses in the window. Becoming a bit of a habit and I will get caught one of these days.

E-Bay - for the second month running.

Music in bedrooms.

Random refrigeration chats outside a sweaty club. Actually going to a club in Edinburgh. The nice thing was I recognised lots of people. Bumped into an old college mate. Her and I were the only two chicks in the year. Instant buddies. Led astray at lunchtimes to have sneeky smokes and her reminding me of an incident in a Big W car park. Head fucked the wasted people and scored a purple clipper.

Enjoying the surreal feeling of being the only person in the gardens in all its shiny glory 4 hours later.

Beautifuly presented Sunday cream teas. Hats must be worn.

Our projector.

Brit Camp.

The Ranch's book collection.

Sun setter on Radio 1.

Not

Slow E-bay deliveries. Fucking just get off your arse and post it. Says she who works opposite a post office.

Mother now bored. Lets call Claire...(bless)

Internet access at work.

Sore backs.

Funky fabric being ludicrously expensive.

Council Tax.

Missing buses.

The sloth like speed of my computer.

Signing off...

Song - Fools Gold
Artist - The Stone Roses

Resolve

2006-06-08T21:25:00.001+01:00

In a nut shell, my beautifuly planned week went all to fuck. But it kinda just suits my mood at the moment. Dont feel in control with anything. Which is interesting. But a productive week nethertheless.

House mother deciding it would be fine to place the BBQ on our decking. I stroll out to witness flames licking nicely from the decking and the unknown substances under the decking. Garden hose saved the day and a great 666 BBQ was had. The burnt decking? Ample plant pots to cover the damage.

The Ranch is nice...
We are trying to figure out what drugs the ice cream van is selling by the tune he plays.
The kids play out in the street. I like that.
Met the neighbours, Meeting on a good note is always a good thing.
I stood there tonight in the garden, hanging out my washing as a white rabbit hops past.
Happy that my room is once again facing west. The darkness in the morning when you need it. But being able to enjoy that beautiful disco nap in the afternoon,the sun warming you as you lay on the bed. Perfect balance.
Loving the fact they security tag prawns in the local shop.
And you have to pay for alcohol from behind glass.
But its a nice mix of people down here.
Especially the ones I live with.

Work is kicking off with some serious office politics.

I'm trying to think what the fuck mum is doing at the moment. If one eccentric & wandering parental wasnt enough I fear another. At dinner the other night my mum casually slipped in to the conversation that she was quitting her job in two weeks. I only asked two questions.
1. What are you going to do?
- Nothing.
2. Are you ill?
- No.
A bit taken back is an understatement. I'm not even going to think of the financial mumble jumble that goes with it. Whats their's is their's. If mum can manage to take this oppertunity then why the hell not. I would hate a turn around like that. Fucking mid-life crisis.

The weather has kicked ass all week. That certainly helps matters. I love hitting Princes St from the west end in the morning. I'm even happier if the clock tells me its before 9am. Its beautiful. You are just aware of so much more in the summer.

House Mother prepared a paddling pool on our return from work. Happy feet.

Keeping Shauna company as I take my ironing to the front garden as she cleans out thr car. Outside ironing is the way forward people. It's mindless thinking time. Good for the soul.

Brit Camp web site news. I'm so FUCKING excited. Actually I'm really excited about the whole deal. Alan, Jo's and all you other helpers efforts are going to make the communication side alot easier, more organised and much faster.
News of Beave and his troops.
The whole hostel looking mighty interesting.

Right enough...

I have skirts to paint and shit to sort.

Rant over.

Sunshine

2006-06-04T23:14:00.000+01:00

A very nice weekend was had.

A rather frustrating start on Friday when the public transport didnt work to my plans but I didnt mind too much. The sun brings out everyone and I had plenty to look at.

Came home to find we have 2 new additions to The Ranch by Hazel. A guinea pig and a white rabbit. Given by a gay couple who bathed and groomed them to perfection before handing them over. How lovely. The rabbit is a bit of a ninja and the guinea pig is just a big pussy.

Encounters with a 'man and his van' to move the rest of Shauna's belonging which where out on the street due to her very messy divorce. The 'man and his van' was, according to his stories a very famous artist and was going to Kentucky next week to sell his pantings of race horses and of course since he is an artist he has had many women.

Saturday night was spent meeting many a wasted person who had taken full advantage of the BBQ that had kicked off in the early afternoon and now 9pm. Lovely host and a tropical theme.
Shanua and I being very scared when a guy, in silence removed his brother from the room after just handing over a picture he had been drawing for the last 20 minutes.
Meeting lots of Claire's.
Dragon fruits.
Tea bag shortage and the need to bring emergency supplies.
Watching doll like figures swan about.
Beautiful beds.
A very loud actor.

Despite seeing sunrise I had a productive day. After watching the walking wounded staggering home from where ever they had been on the bus an understanding hairdresser figured out random pointings and my hair and sorted out the hair doo.
Made bracelets in the garden.
Scribbled masterplans.
House Mother preparing a beautiful Sunday roast after our cream tea in the afternoon. Shauna wore her hat and I wore Turtle's gifted scarf.

It was almost the perfect weekend.

Things I steal from Boo...

2006-06-02T20:37:00.000+01:00

You Are The Empress

You represent the ideal female figure: beauty and nurturing.
You bring security and harmony to many.
At times, you are also a very sensual person.
You are characterized by love, pleasure, and desire.

Your fortune:

You need to take some time to think about the role of commitment in your life.
It's possible you need to commit more to others, or deal with how others have treated you.
It is very important for you to support your friends and family right now, difficult as it may be.
You may need to look at your relationship with your mother, or your relationships as a mother.

What Tarot Card Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Ecstasy

You're usually feeling the love for the world around you - you want to hug everyone.
And while you're usually content to sit back and view the world with wonder...
Sometimes you're world becomes very overwhelming and a little scary.

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Belong in London

You belong in London, but you belong in many cities... Hong Kong, San Francisco, Sidney. You fit in almost anywhere.
And London is diverse and international enough to satisfy many of your tastes. From curry to Shakespeare, London (almost) has it all!

What European City Do You Belong In?

Disco Day

2006-06-01T21:58:00.000+01:00

I’m loving our garden. Shauna and I were sitting outside last night and I proposed that we build an outside nest.

A series of trellises put in a circular fashion with various climbing plants for a some cosy privacy. Cheap and cheerful and a nice little hide-a-way in the garden. I want to buy some grass – I don’t know if I will still be here by the time our TLC starts to show.

We will also be pimping up our swings/slide & sea-saw. I quite fancy some orange and purple but I will put that to the vote.

And we STILL have enough room to dry our washing, some grass action and our shed (which we decided not to turn into a wendy house as cool as it would have been. We do need somewhere to store our bits and pieces) on that note it’s a joy that a house raging with estrogen has a serious collection of tools. The flaps you see females having over a pair of shoes was exactly the same that Shauna and I had in the kitchen the other night over a pair of wire cutters.

Picking up some of the most silly, giddy herbs that Shanua and I have ever had much to Hazels amusement.

‘Innit’ is becoming a very noticeable word in my vocabulary. Typically at the end of every sentence. I’m blaming it on the two Londoners I live with. Also I am aware that I now say ‘take care’ at the end of almost every work phone call.

I’m taking the slagging I’m receiving at work gracefully.
First of all it was the unknown leaves/weeds that I have been eating in my beautifully made home made salads from our organic fruit & veg box that we get delivered to The Ranch every Thursday.

This morning I asked Vic to fix his squint lanyard and his response was ‘Go and fix your ginger hair’. Yes, I have neglected my hair dying duties for a couple of months and as I get older the ginger is just fighting to get out (take note people – I do have a slight excuse for my minor outbursts and temper tantrums)

Completely lost the plot in Banjo’s bathroom on Saturday. Some hysterics were had and the 10 minute freak out over a cup of tea. Some unsteady moments with her fiancé and spent the next day trippin’ with the clouds in the sunshine.

My cup of tea consumption has now doubled. Which now leads me to believe that I now need a funky tea pot.

Aqquired aprox 50 see you Jimmy hats from the father. A stolen retro styleee Komodo and some ciggys. Good to see him. Once again roles were reversed as I gave him the 3^rd degree in the fact that I am his daughter not his Personal Assistant who jumps to his every whim. Iwas also rather close to the bone when I told him I don’t see him as a father, more like a close friend but didn’t mean I loved him any less. On his way back to Estonia the text message conversation I had with his summed up the relationship I have with him:

Dad – Ive just passed Ikea in Stockholm. Maybe they had ur drawers!

Me – See while you are there fancy picking me up a set!

Dad – I’m now at ferry port in Stockholm wi ma 4 poster strapped 2 ma hame made roof rack. Massive ship called the Romantika!

Me – God speed you crazy man. Love you x

Dad – Yes. Maybe crazy enough to go 2 burnin man nxt year! Love u lots and dny ever forget it. Weather in Sweden dull and full of Latvians, Estonians and Russians and a Jock!

The other creator is taking me out to dinner tonight. Some sensible (read as Claire, what are you doing with your life) chat to be had. Help her through the mid-life crisis my mother seems to be having at the moment and of course a free dinner.

My new double bed is making it seriously difficult for me to rise from my cosy nest in the mornings esp when I decided to double up my old and new curtains. Not as dark as I would have liked it but if I want to shut out the world…I can.

Missing some Burning company as I sit amongst my crafty mess making up things as I go along. I know I’m working for something but someone to grin at while my creative mind works in overload is nice.

Giving some slightly radical new ideas for mediation training at work. Grassing over our car park and creating a sumo ring.

I’m creating a work life balance. The perfect balance between ‘almost’ maxing my time on-line (before getting locked out) and creating various emails and plans in Word. A very handy skill to have perfect.

Oooohh my final piece of news is that after speaking to Kiwi, Brit Camp will be neighbours with Camp Kiwi. Rock on.

Yeah man

2006-05-31T21:40:00.000+01:00

Recently, if I dont pick up a Metro on the bus in the morning I dont know what day it is.

Thank fuck for free papers eh?

Get well soon Roamer...

2006-05-27T14:41:00.000+01:00

I love unexpected weekends. Well I expect the weekend just the events that are included in those 24 hours.

Song - The Killers
Artist - Smile like you mean it

Get a grip

2006-05-23T21:23:00.000+01:00

This week has been a bit fucked up to put it bluntly. I have nothing settled at the moment. Thats includes my life and all the personal possesions which go along with it.
I know why I'm pissed off and its trivial....I went to the shop tonight to finaly get the underwear thats all lover my floor and the bra's that keep tripping me up in the morning off the floor but they were out of stock in el cheapo chest of drawers. You only find that out once you been round the whole fucking shop eh!

Yup its pathetic, I'm a pedantic bitch at times. The whole household has a nest to retire to in the evening apart from me. Told you it was trivial but then again you dont know how much it means to me.

But yeah, I have been thinking alot recently. Almost too much. It has to be stopped when every conclusion to your thoughts turns out to be something bad.

You look for the positives and then you realise maybe you are just clutching at straws. Family issues are ever growing and no one really understands the whole deal.

I really do hope that this is a passing phase. Maybe its because father is in the country. I'm not moping about, my mind just weighs heavy.

Woohoo...week over with

2006-05-19T16:40:00.000+01:00

In the world of me its been a bit of a nightmare this week for various reasons. So I have decided that on my wander home tonight I'm stopping at an internet cafe to have wee rant on my blog since I have not had access for a while.

It's like therapy man.

So I moved into The Ranch last weekend. Everything is running smoothly apart from some major issues around the hot water and heating areas. But really, it' going good. We have new carpet, new beds and I'm looking forward to treating myself to a new duvet set. The first in 4 years.
It's strange, I got thrown out of my last flat and I really never heard from anyone. This time everyone is taking an active interest in my house move. Eh why?

So the new flat mates......flatties? House mates? Hommies?....yes hommies it is.
I get on great with them. It's all a bit of a coincidence how I came about living with them.
Mother and Daughter. Daughter (Hazel) who I knew of at school back in the Borders and Mother (Shauna) who I sit opposite at work and realised that our paths had crossed years ago.

We have lived life. We have all had a lot thrown at us and we have an amazing support thing going on. Shauna may have been first to christen the flat by smoking but I was certainly the first chick in this house hold to sob into her pillow last night. I thought I had had this little cry to myself in secret but clearly not when there was a knock on my bedroom door to find a cuppa and some herbal remedy.

Father was the cause of my tears. It just hurts.

So there is a gathering planned at The Ranch tonight. It is clear that the thoughts of a small gathering between myself and my other hommies are completely different. Rearranging furniture and arranging chill out rooms wasn't in my thoughts for a small gathering. So far there will be 30 people. However Shauna informed me that they are all here to entertain us since we are the ones who are tired and have the new pad. That worries me even more.
But maybe I'm wrong. God help me but I certainly will meet more people.

In a simple round up I just want to get the practical issues of moving house out the way as I'm like a bull at a gate in regards to all things Burney. Soooo much to do and (really) there is so little time.

Enjoy the weekend.

Plans?

2006-05-17T16:38:00.000+01:00

Today is a good day.
Today I have a double bed which I feel like a queen in. Its big, its cosy and I'm going to be great.

My weekend plans are not going to plan.
MY plans consist of a organising essential housey things and emptying some boxes but the rest of my household are making plans to party.

Its all good though.

Birthday Blog

2006-05-16T16:37:00.000+01:00

You are never too old to do anything.

Boxes

2006-05-15T16:35:00.000+01:00

Moving house is taking up far too much of my time, I admit I only volounteered for one job, to sort out the internet but this is proving more difficult that I first imagined it would be.
But all going well I should get something sorted by the end of the week.

I like living with the two girlies. Its my first all girl house hold and it seems to be sitting well. Hazel is the house mum. Who tells you what she has made and what you are welcome to munch from the fridge. Which is of course very handy when you have not went grocery shopping in 3 months.

And Shauna well, she just makes cups of tea all the time. Its all looking very cosy with everyone stuff thrown all over the place.

The weekend consisted of moving boxes of Friday and a wee trip up to visit Dougaldutch on Saturday. We made a nest, almost watched the sunrise and spent the remainder of the weekend watching the Mighty Boosh. It was nice. I like the change of scenery. Its nice to mix up city life with a bit of boat life. Nice wee birthday treat for myself.

Cheerio Horne Terrace - Hello culture

2006-05-11T19:45:00.000+01:00

Well this is me signing off until I manage to get net access up and running in our new pad. My work doesnt do blogger. Shame really.

So its a new bed for me tomorrow night.

Nine and a half guitars

2006-05-09T19:27:00.000+01:00

Well I think thats me decompressed after my weekend surrounded by burning love.

Can I just say that stumbling down school corridors and walking into the ladies to find a string quartet playing just messes with a ladies mind.

Sunday was rough. Actually Sunday was a living nighmare. Thakfully I caught my trains and planes and I landed safe and sound. Even after some dodgy turbulance and the emergency lighting switching on in the plane. I kept my shit together but my knuckles were white.

The timing of a mates phone call was perfect and I went round to theirs still with suitcase in hand. They looked after me well and I fell asleep face down on my pillow, fully clothed with my suitcase still abandoned in the hall way.

Stumbled into work on Monday morning to discover my day was only going to get worse. Both boses couldnt do the induction so I was now held responsible to look after people and actually be on the ball.
Everything that could go wrong, went fucking wrong.

No stewards at one of the properties.
Late buses
Some fool up the crags had got stuck and our bus was blocking the entrance. Trying to explain to the police that I had lost the bus driver.

But the cutest thing was my boss standing up as soon as I walked in the office and gave me a big hug. After all it was the first time I had done this and none was the wiser.

Fell asleep at 8pm. That was after I got my apologies out the way from my foul PMT come down combo which turned me into a super bitch. Sorry people it was the hormones.

But today was rather exciting.

Our work employs seasonal staff and do exactly what it says on the tin. Help us out through our busy season. So we gotta train them up.
I arrived half way through the session and was greated by a very lovely bunch of people. As per usual practice Vic introduces me and as usual you give your banter in what you do. 'And what do you get up to in your spare time Claire' I roll my eyes at Vic and do my pre-rehearsed, simple explanation of Burning Man.
Usual reaction is then me answering random questions from random people.
Then...
Boy - 'I went last year'.
Me - 'Do you live in edinburgh?'
Boy - 'yeah'
Me- 'Oh my god, can I give you a hug' before he had time to answer I'm across there hugging this man like crazy.
Give apologies for my actions to the rest of the room and sit down.

Briefly chatted to him between a session and got his email address. 3 people from Edinburgh headed across for the last few years. Not this year I'm afraid. But anyway the moral of the story is that I now have an email address from Edinburgh who has actually been to the burn.

How lovely.

Song - Brand New Watusi
Artist - Quantic

Konichiwa

2006-05-03T20:22:00.000+01:00

I just bought my dad and his friend a return trip to Japan.

Why?

Because I love him and made him well aware of the dire consequences if I dont get this money back.

But the screams of joy down the phone was worth it. Never heard him so happy in months.

Me sweating like a bitch as I entered those famous numbers.

I'm not my fathers daughter for nothing.

Give me a chance to hold on

2006-05-03T18:39:00.000+01:00

My sore throat arrived at a convenient time that I was going back to Gullane so I could at least see a doctor as this wasnt a normal sore throat. Yup, prescribed penicillin. Fucking £7 for a prescription. I pay enough National Insurance thank you very much.

The joys of seeing my step father trot in looking ever so pleased that his power caddy can carry his golf clubs and all things golfy along with the additional weight of 8 cans of Stella.

My patience was tested to the limit as I battle with the sewing machine as my fever rose and throat burned. Job done though.

Went outside before the sewing machine went out and spent time with our tortoise.

Returned to Edinburgh to find the whole city was out in force. Yes, the sunshine does do that to us Scot's. Pale legs and dodgy fake tan ahoy.

A nice mix of old friends at new up Calton Hill to celebrate Beltane. Taking Dougaldutch on magical mystery tours to enjoy the evening sun.

Today I had to write in boxes about my so called career. After a 2 hour chat with my boss I came out smiling as it wasnt half as bad as I had imagined. Perks of working in training are certainly showing. Also the fact I cant seem to do any wrong is pleasing.

Forgotten extra charge for my trip to London only slightly spoilt my day.

Father is stressed to the max and looking to me once again. This time its financial,he wants to go to Tokyo...on my credit card. Hmmm...

Right, must have a look at what I need for the weekend. Its been a fucking long time coming!

Sharing

2006-04-27T19:11:00.000+01:00

So if I do happen to speak to you, whoever you are I'm likely to just maybe on the off chance talk about music.

Just maybe.

Ok, I soundtrack my life.

My point is that if you have not heard of the Ninja Tune label (www.ninjatune.net) or the magical Mr Scruff then I will bore you tears about the wonders of his ways. 90% of people then email me to tell me they have then gone out and bought the album and loved it.

Sooo on my internet trawling I discovered that another Ninja Tunes artist is playing Scotland.
Bonobo.

Edinburgh? Na
Glasgow? Na
Aberdeen? Na

A wee island off the west coast. Yeah.

So Bonobo is playing on Skye, for their festival.

I weighed up the possibilities. Even being a happy camper and going myself. It just cant be done. Being a festival I would have to go for the whole weekend. I cant do things by half and cant turn my back from live music. Soooo getting my ass to Skye and trying to fund a festival when I chose not to go to our major music festival (with a line up which will make you weak at the knees) there is no chance I can make it to Skye.

Dear Mr Bonobo,

As a whore to Ninja tunes I kindly request that you play somewhere in Scotland that doesnt require 5 hours of travel. May I suggest Edinburgh. Possibly somewhere decent (R.I.P The Venue) I know thats difficult in Edinburgh so may I suggest my garden. It has swings - no really it has.

With Kindest Regards,

Sgnt Pepper

I'm glad Jamie never went to jail

2006-04-27T03:27:00.000+01:00

Well last week was fucked up. It felt it like it anyway.
I physically felt it.
Thankfuly, this week I no longer think I'm dramatically loosing sight in my right eye, have some random brain tumour which is causing these blinding headaches or loosing all interest in eating. The last factor is much to the amusement of my boss and other colleague Andy. Pregnant jokes aplenty and my bosses first comment was strangely 'Baby Burners'.
Which was quite nice. I'm not sure in what was ment by it but I like the fact he see's the real me.

And he still employs me.

Which is of course a good thing.

I'm terribly excited for the Supacompression and Brit Camp Summit next weekend. For all the obvious reasons.
I'm so excited to see every single one of you. The old and the new.

Oh, I met up with father last weekend. Why is whenever I think of dad I immediately hang my head and snigger. The man. I fucking love him. Acceptance and forgiveness is an admirable quality I feel. On my behalf. Missed him as I had not seen him since Christmas.

The meeting:

Me - Wandering up the road looking for dad.
Dad - Shouting loudly from 15 paces away, running a stressed hand through the locks of his perfectly mastered mullet 'Here Claire, where you been? Been on the phone to the fucking solicitors, not got my money yet.'
Me - 'We are going for a coffee'

So we wander down the walk. Drink coffee and as always do alot of honest talking.

Antics of my father inculde:
Setting up a new life in Estonia with a lady friend who he has known for 12 years. Remember I have a 10 year old sister and Im 24.
Sore backs.
A family who never speak or have very little to do with one another.
My dads mother is a very strange lady indeed.
He is going to Tokyo and Egypt.
I think they may be the only two places in the world he has never been.

So we talked alot about travel. Hearing his stories. Where I hope to find mine.
Tales of Rejkjavik and side street pubs in Amsterdam.

He is asking slightly concerning questions about Burning Man. The man wants to go.
That just screws with your mind slightly.

He asked the whole queue on the shop if anyone still used 'pound notes' as he put it as I handed over my plastic. Also from the other side of the shop 'Here Claire, get these (presenting some tea cake style cakes) 16 for a pound'.

Other things that are bouncing about up there are a friends horrible divorce, a friends new baby girl, a sly little sister, the serious need to do grocery shopping but refusing as I need everything and that means I need to move even more in a few weeks. Dad asked for bank details. Started my (shit) gifting idea. Fucking international gifting efforts puts restrictions on matters. Feeding bumble bees. Being fascinated by TV.

Right, flat mate away for a few weeks so I'm going to take advantage of loud music and partake in the need to do things.

Scared

2006-04-19T04:28:00.000+01:00

I now have a million and one concerns with our new pad. After discussing with my current flat mate.

I really dont want to sign the lease.

We will be sub-letting. This is illegal. The landlord knows we will be subletting and he is quite happy. Of course he is. He could just kick us out after signing the lease which states we will not sub-let.
I'm no law abider but when it comes to dealing with strangers and your name on a lease then I really dont think it is a wise move.

Tonight is not a cool night for leaving my phone at my desk.

I have a plan. A plan which consists of me staying in that flat, making Hazel aware on the consequences and me not being on the lease.

I really should eat. Croissants & coffee dont keep you going for long. I loose keys, lighters and pens. Not my appetite.

Weird.

Wanted

2006-04-17T00:31:00.000+01:00

We are now recruiting for a third flatmate.

Could do with some more testosterone about the flat.

Next Stop

2006-04-16T07:05:00.000+01:00

We got the house.

Residential Rantings

2006-04-15T00:21:00.000+01:00

So the flat arrangement changed last week. I decided not to move out. Everything was going wrong and had to make my mind up asap so I took the safe option (I dont want to be homeless) and said I wont be moving out at the end of the month.
All cool, now on a monthly lease.

Viewed a house today. It an area which gets bad press but it really isnt one of the worse areas and no cars on bricks.

It has a front and back garden. 4 bedrooms, once of which would be our craft room. A garden with decking and loads of space. Its in our budget. The landlord is sound as fuck and will let us know tomorrow if we are getting it before he shoots off to Tailand for the Full Moon party.

The house was emptied really quickly and still has reminders of the previous owners. Loads of kids stuff kicking about which we insisted he didnt throw out. Fucking scavagers that we are.

Hazel is great. Her hobbies include, making shit, baking, partying and looking after small children. Strange meeting after we went to the same High School.

15 mins on the bus from Princes Street.

It has a shed.

Living room with large nesting potential.

I got the master bedroom.

So the plan is....if we get accepted the moving in date will be the 12th of May.
So Im going to be down a months rent on this place as I'm having to pay up to the end of May. And pay for the other place.

Next weekend it must go down well with fathers visit next weekend. I need that dad Tax.

A wee change will do me good. Getting a bit predictable my life was recently. The new adventure and our lovely new cultured community. Made me realise that for the money I pay for a room in the centre of Edinburgh. I can relax somewhere which is not these four walls which I spend my life in. For the same price. And on a pretty flexiable lease.

Need to find a 3rd person but shouldnt cause too much hassle.

If we dont get it, it wasnt meant to be. But 4 hours ago I was happy staying here but now I have the vision of me on that grass in the summer making my gifts.

Much happer thought.....

Audial Pleasure 11

2006-04-13T06:46:00.000+01:00

Song - Weak Become Heros
Artist - The Streets

Audial Pleasure 10

2006-04-13T03:59:00.000+01:00

Poetic.

Song - We're going to be friends
Artist - The White Stripes

Nuggets

2006-04-11T06:39:00.000+01:00

Alright. I'm moving flats again.
This time its going to be a more accommodating.

Fucking hassle though.

Moving shit. Changing shit. Got enough going on as it is thank-you-very-much.

It's necessary.

Moving on...

I was suprised my holiday mode switched off on my first day back after a holiday today. We all know its a fragile state of mind. I rose early(ish), glorious morning, bright pink jacket on and good days work done. Also the fact that I didnt fuck up at work while I was away was a good thing.

The mother-daughter thing was interesting/fun. Beautiful hotel. Stunning old country house beside a river. I wasnt sleeping so good so I spent both nights parading around the garden. Loving the warmth of the carpet under my feet as I walked down corridors. Feeling every floor board creak under my feet. It was nice.

My mum and I dodging the chamber maids as we stole Crabtree & Evelyn toilitries. Its the usual practice in hotels yes?

Visiting many a jaggy jumper shop in strange little places.

Buying practical items like tent pegs and pillows.

Eating beautiful food and being suprised at mothers wine knowledge.

Stole muffins, jam and apples at breakfast.

I dont know if i will ever understand mum.

I'm currently listening to one of the many catalogues from the only person who has ever made me a playlist. (pathetic hu). I have 15 destroyed CD's that despite the scratches still play. It makes me give him respect. lol
The boy does know his tunes.

On the boy theme...
I split up with mine yesterday. No major grief. He wants the friends thing now. Dont know if I do. Recieving 7 phone calls at 3:30am this morning was not working in his favour.
I just have my conscious on my mind now.

Got to find a flat first.

Just one of those songs...

2006-04-05T21:08:00.000+01:00

Hey, could you stand another drink
I'm better when I don't think
It seems to get me through
Say, d'you wanna spin another line
Like we had a good time
Not that I need proof

Swell, we're living in a hotel
And someones ringing my bell
In a room without a view
Hey, heard you read another book
Should I take another look
Who am I
Without you

ahhhoooo
ahhh
ahhoooo
ahhh
ahh

Hey, could you stand another drink?
I'm better when I don't think
It seems to get me through
Say, d'you wanna spin another line
Like we had a good time
Not that I need proof

Swell, we're living in a hotel
Someone's ringing my bell
In a room without a view
Hey, heard you read another book
Should I take another look?
Who am I
Without you

ahhhoooo
ahhh
ahhoooo
ahhh
ahh

lalalalalalalalala
lalalalalala...

Song - Proof
Artist - I am Kloot

My life and thoughts in 3 hours

2006-04-05T08:26:00.000+01:00

I dont know how to feel today.

How fortunate that the only person who could soothe my fragile mind took an afternoon from work off. So it was gardening and cups of tea all round. After I HAD to go out for coffee as I dont own any of its ingrediants required for a cup of coffee. Realised that the coffee shop by the canal is quite a cool place. Too expensive but I cant handle the world without coffee for more than 10 minutes in the morning. I took my book attempted some testimonials for tribe but my mind couldnt handle that yet.

The after effects of Brighton. The result of a weekend filled of everything good in life.

I got my first tattoo. I think its scabbing but the bastard thing is on a knicker line and rubs at every move. I love it. Makes it more special that Zero did it for me. The fact that I just didnt speak for 3 hours. It was a different feeling than expected but I still didnt let go of Dougal's hand the entire time.

Tattoo's & Hot Flannels (white knuckles)

Went into bead heaven and had to have a ciggy after the delights of the bead shop.

Spent proper time with good and wonderful people.

Went clubbing for the first time in aggges. How better to break me back in than a gay club. What is the deal with the no shirt thing? Not complaining, purely an observation. Helen was official crowned my bitch as I clung on to her corset laces while men played the bongos on her beautifuly presented chest as we passed through the club. They may be gay but they still love tits.

Tried on a beautiful corset. Presented myself in the middle of the shop dressed in a black corset and scrubs round my ankles.

I'm never going to forget what I love about life.

Took part in a custard (shaving foam) fight at 9am in the middle of Brighton. Our enemy presented themselves in a shopping trolly swigging cider. Brilliant. 3 minutes of mayhem and jumping a drunk who we thought was part of the fun

.
Drooling at the amount of good music there is in Brighton. Mr Scruff, Bonobo were some of the posters I saw (and stole).

I couldnt sleep on Friday. I was shattered. A 9 hour solid bus ride. A wander round a quaint part of London at 9am discovering churches and trying to smoke ourselves to sleep. I lay there at Zooty & Zeros unable to switch my mind off or remove the smile from my face. The vibes were keeping me awake. Content happy vibes.

I like this lifestyle.

This time next week there WILL be a Scots Burner wikki page up. Even if there are no Burners there must be Burner types in Edinburgh. If not Scotland. I'm going to try my best. If not I doubt I will be in Scotland in say a years time. There is so much to weigh up though. It can be done. Something has to change.

This weekend was in a sence, hard hitting.

In many different ways.

Lying listening to Zero's radio slot. The beautiful 'I love you' on the ceiling.

Head out of arse. Need to pack to go to mums. Mother-daughter get together. How lovely.

Issac Rules.

No Frills

Thanks for a lovely project...

You've come a long way baby

The story so far....

Made me smile, crazy lady

Postie Art?

Sunday Supper

Saturate

Human Again?

Human Robot

Patriotic Party People

Sunny says.....

Stirling Smiles

Therapy

No Nicotine

Mistake 1

Test

*Disclaimer* - Due to the unavailiablility of Muffin I had to resort to a rant

Audial Pleasure 16

Come gather people

Scab?

Runny nose

On its rounds...stolen from Muffin

Must do 1

Ranch Quotes 1

Start with a song

Certain base line

In coming base line alert is ON!

Stolen from Gala

Your asking me

My bad?

Story line

Incoming baseline alert

And todays passage is....

Alot of hair

A to B

Serve Chilled

Audial Pleasure no....fuck knows what

Happy Halloween

Start spreadin' the news

Fraggle rock?

Ouch

Gathering

Audial Pleasure 16

Sleepy Sunday

You cunts...

Forward

Hours of sleep...not fucking enough

Audial Pleasure 15

You cant always get what you want (mark 2)

Cuttings

Thanks for your patience

Leaving on a jet plane

Really?

Cheese

Left or Right?

Pointy

Snap happy

Nasty

Development

You are my sunshine

Folders

Brandy

Bollocks

Ok! Ok! I'm it....

Sunday driver

Mindless

Post It

Resolve

Sunshine

Things I steal from Boo...

Disco Day

Yeah man

Get well soon Roamer...

Get a grip

Woohoo...week over with

Plans?

Birthday Blog

Boxes

Cheerio Horne Terrace - Hello culture

Disclaimer - Due to the unavailiablility of Muffin I had to resort to a rant