*Disclaimer* - Due to the unavailiablility of Muffin I had to resort to a rant

If only I had written this about 10 minutes ago this post would be in a better vibe. I caught up with my dear Captains blog and it did not bring happy news. Although Patrick Bateman is a nice chap.

I'm not writing this knowing she will read this but I'm having to rant out the initial shock. Said dear Captain wont be making the burn this year. It really is a case of you know one year its going to happen, but you never want it to be this year!

You cant go to Burning Man and make no connections with anyone, its fucking impossible - Ok minus Dickie. So at my first burn I stumbled across Jess. Claire dishing out amateur advice on how to deal with our crazy environment and hide in trash trailers. Who knew that in a few days time we would be partners in crime, she would become my Captain Muffin and me, her Sgt pepper. There has been too many priceless moments to note on here to enforce how much I will miss her on the playa this year. Anyone close to me knows how much this girl means to me. Not only that of course, her husband who can only be described as fabulous wont be sharing his cool, calm and collected vibe also. Another cruel twist to the tail is that she is a friend that I don't see too often and its just knowing for one week I get to see her everyday. Maybe thats just me being selfish.

I have so many people that I miss. So many people to look forward to seeing again. But I'm allowed to feel disappointed because I know I'm helpless in this situation. Jeeez we all know how much burning pinches the pocket. People do it on a shoe string, I do it on a flip flop. It was a brave and wise choice to help her in their first foot steps in marriage and their possibly nautical new life!

But I know if she could, then she would, because I know she wants to see that man burn as much as I do.

Audial Pleasure 16

Seduce.

Song - Strict Machine
Artist - Goldfrapp

Come gather people

I bought a new thing. So lets have a wee catch up.....

*Insert pic here when camera is found*

Beautiful hu! My lovely all singing, all dancing, not a single scratch on it G4 Powerbook. Enough storage to keep all the photos of the beautiful people and the music to fuel my soul. DVD+RW/CD-RW is just decadence but fuck it. Ebay special.

Justification - 1. I got my job regraded and turns out they have been getting cheap labour from me and threw a bit more cash my way. Which I have almost spent the annual raise in 4 days. Yup I could have put it towards my debt in dribs and drabs every month or spend it on something that's a dead cert to make me smile.

2. Shauna has moved into the craft room - she deserves a trophy having spent almost a year in a single bunk bed in a room I have pissed bigger in. Which of course meant that my computer had to go back into my room. Not cool. Being a daily/constant computer user and working in an office, these fuckers do tend to take over your life. Also I dont/cant really loose anymore space.

3. Many changes in Pepperland since the turn of the year so I figured this could redress the balance in my favour

Erm slight interruption.....my dad has just turned up at my door - how lovely but what the fuck?!

TO BE CONTINUED...

Ah yes, where was I.....

I justified my new laptop so lets get over that one.

Its been a weekend of yet again sorting shit out. The Ranch looks like a jumble sale and everything is waiting for somewhere to live. I know I have the advantage of not having all my worldly possessions in this house and just need to find the patience to deal with other peoples shit until they get round to moving it. Yes patience is a virtue! I am find it increasingly difficult to try and get any further forward of anything I start nowadays. I spend half the time moving other peoples 'stuff' before I even start crafting it up/cooking etc etc. Which is tiring.

But hey....

So dad randomly pitched up at my door the other night. I was aware that he was due to come back to the UK to get surgery on his back on the Saturday but as always I never have much detail. He seemed in alot of pain and its got to the stage that he is clutching at straws and its hard to not get your hopes and expectations raised if you live a life of pain and someone is offering to help you even though this will be the third op.But then again he tells me he may not be operated on this weekend. I asked him to let me know but I knew that may be asking too much. Fears were not exactly calmed when I received texts to call one of my dads friends last night( I sometimes think that was the worst things I did - giving my number to one of his good mates) to tell me he was given injections of some sort and then discharged himself and switched his phone off. But my dads friend seemed happy that I was worrying about my dad for some morbid reason. Ah the father saga fucking returns again. Its Sunday afternoon and I still haven't heard from him. I know he will be ok - I hope. I hope he got the train and didn't drive to the hospital....

Dougals Fear & Loathing bash was a grand occasion. Dougal was hosting so as you can imagine the place was lit up like eh Vegas (funny that) and there was lots of happy people complete with fire poi! Very exciting. I believe someone fell in and actually quite gutted I missed seeing it! I was also was a very happy lady to find that two sneaky burners had made their way up from Brighton to come visit. Well hello Zooty & Zero! How wonderful it was to see them. I just suck up the energy those two produce. Porcelain was across visiting Dougal so it was great to see her again since we last met in the dust.

So in my masterplan to deal with some issues that have been hanging around me for a while I have managed to tackle quite a large chunk of one of them. I went to visit family back in the borders a few weeks ago. Primarily to see my little sister Charlotte. It had been since last August so i was a little nervous and anxious to see how things were going to fly down there. Especially since I didn't have Dad's house to escape to if anything got rough so to speak. There was no need really. Everything went well. Possibly due to the fact that I didn't say as half as much as i wanted to. Circumstances didnt permit me getting alot of things off my chest but it does make it easier to go down and visit. But reassurances were had when my sister and I had a wee heart to heart and I know everything is cool between us.

On the brighter side of life....

I feel a million emotions about my next news. All completly positives and I have 6 months to rattle on about those but guess what.....nope....not that....nearly.....

I have been invited to join Club Verboten The Peoples tent No 8! I am ecstatic to have been accepted. I'm travelling to the Burn on my own this year so I thought how about I just do it all differently and try my hand with another camp. I loved the set up at Verboten and genuinely thought that these guys had it sorted. Or in other words if I ever I ever wanted to be part of another camp I would love to join this vibe - and I got the opportunity to. Eplaya shout out for international burners so I grabbed the chance for a bit of a change, get out my comfort zone once again for help and hopefully I will be able to help them in return! I still have major ties with the hostel. How can you ever meet those wonderful people and not go back! I still will swing by the hostel and if I can give any help then I know I will always lend a hand. Back to Verboten...they love music - I love music how much fun is this gonna be!!!

Still spending time with Byron. Had a slight spanner in the works which I wont go into full detail here but some concerns. His actions some what contradicts whats he says. Which confuses things on my be-half...I think. (sigh) Tis not need to be complex! Hmmm unfamiliar territory perhaps. But what I do like is that it is relaxed, I hope we no longer have any expectations and its the simple things that we do together makes me happy!

I have spent too long typing but it does make thing better putting this to paper. A bit of an off load is needed and that's why I ramble on here. To get it off my chest and laugh my ass off at it months later. Ok must eat soup and do maintenance

Hope all is tip top ya all x

Scab?

Another 2 joined us and well we managed to stop the mail van.....