Nothing exciting

After a discussion on Chilli and chocolate mouse its been a day of the head cheese of my department (John) feeding my boss (Vic) various strengths of chilli's.
And they wonder why nothing get done in this place!

Emails between myself,Dougaldutch and Muffin has thrown all work out the window. Im so fucking excited for the decompression I cant even type!!

Flat mate away again for the week, so pretty cool having run of the place. :)
Having to give up my Little Britain ticket for their gig in January as too many social events on my shoe string budget :(

Wonderful Wellbeing...

Listening to Jazz by candle-light with some seriously wicked grass...nice.

Ho fucking Ho...

So, a ballot was put round the office today to nominate Santa and his helper/elf/fairy/Mrs Santa to dress up and had out presents for the secret santa (how lovely - more gifts to buy)

Ok so I nominated my head cheese - Dont think he would take to it in good humour and I assumed everyone would vote for him. His helper would be a stressed out manager who is as tall as she is wide. Nice couple there for us all to giggle at.

Thanks guys...

Im the fucking helper and my line manager (Vic) is santa.
I was supposed to keep it hush hush as they go out and buy you a costume etc but I wanted to know which bastards voited for me.
Asked 2 of my colleagues in the smoking room. One did not vote for me but the other said 'Claire, you were hiding in a box in the middle of the office last week I thought you would have a blast dressing up'
Awwwww man! Not is all bad, its quite funny really. Out of all the people in the office, Im glad Vic was nominated as Santa. Couldnt ask for a better guy to work with and a brilliant boss. Sitting on his knee may take our working relationship to another level...

Right Im away to Sunny G to pick up some stuff and raid my mothers fridge.

Introduce myself

Im so off the ball right now with the music scene. I miss it so much. Music is my life. Its the first thing I do in the morning and its the reason I can subconsiously switch off my stereo when the last song sings myself to sleep at night...
Live music drove me through the nightmare shifts at work to be able to get time off to get to the gig in the first place. Putting in all the credit I had avaliable at the time on a proxy bidding on ebay for a gig (I won them just in case you wondered)
Being shattered,numb and euphoric and unable to say a word as I threw myself down on the bus seat with a huge smile on my face.15 minutes previous I had experienced Massive Attack which I had waited fucking years for. Being able to sing back that favourite song to the person who wrote it. Dancing your ass off with hundreds of people all connected through one thing and being moved in a way that left you breathless.
Music is the icing on the big fucking cake of life.

Tonight was needed...
Round at a mates for dinner which turned into a 3 hour chat about music. I had missed someones opinion and how they feel about that cool tunes just played on the radio. Watching a fantasticly weird animated music videos by a band call. Staggered home with some new music and Im taking great pleasure in getting back into it.

Man,I just need money to live.
I hate cutting back on the things I love.
Im a lady of simple pleasures.
The best things in the life are free.
Its just the ones in between those moments cost money.
Those some what important pieces of paper.

Just a wee 'pissed off being skint' rant (sigh)

The biggest thing im getting out of this phase in my life is I take nothing for granted. It's not something I have ever done regardless of my financial situation but it keeps things real. Keeps you on your toes. Makes you push forward and be thankful for everything that rings true to you.

All they will ever have is money,
I will always have so much more than them...

Cow Juice

Taken the notion to drinking hot milk. Why?

All about the music

Ooooh! Been exchanging a few mails with Irish after I found out he is wanting some soundtrack suggestions for the hostel documentary. Man, I sound track my life Im sure I have a few suggestions! Not signed bands though...

Challenge!

Rock a bye baby....

I cant fucking sleep.

Cookie Monster

Today is a sad day....
My blue fluffy playa jacket went in the washing machine to wear to the decompression. I was debating keeping the whisky stained, unknown sticky bits and full of dust and take it down in that state..
But that is a bit scummy...
Not after I stood there for about 5 minutes with it on and just smelling it and smiling and then to watch the washing machine fill up with water and wave goodbye...

Lovely...

If you ever use public transport on a daily basis or you have some kind of routine in the morning on your way to work you always seem to see the same people.
Well…a year ago there was one very fine specimen of a man who used to travel to on the same bus as me on the sardine packed hour long trip to hell its self (Buisness park with evil financial buildings)
A daily update was given to my flat mate every night. ‘I stood 2 people away from him’ ‘Oh my god I sat next to him’’I fannied about paying the bus driver when I saw him running for the bus’ obsessive? Na, just a little something to brighten up my dull little life at that time.
He was named ‘The Stalker’ more of a bizarre way to reflect myself!
Zane Lowe look a like (my god that’s man….I even managed to walk past him at T in the Park one year, just as well I would have jumped him) black sexy geeky glasses and always wore a suit the way a suit is supposed to be worn. Icing on the cake was dress down Fridays when he wore a Yellow Submarine T shirt.
Then discovered he worked in my office. Pearing over the patrician once in a while just to stare at the back of his head. After 3 months he asked to borrow a ciggy and would have idle chit chat.
Moral of the story is that I saw him at the bus stop today. I just didn’t know what to do with myself and after a year he strangely still had the same desired effect on me….yummy!

Aww Man...

Ma 'quality' £12.99 PVC wardrobe from Argos just collapsed with a crack and an almighty WHUMP....

Fuck.

Cold grins...

I must say I appreciate my trip to work in the morning.
My first smile is watching the ducks for a few seconds as I cross the bridge over the canal.

If I get off at the west end the whole area just smells of aftershave/perfume/that just out the shower smell

Along Princes Street and the castle does look nice in the morning sun.

They are erecting the German market and the huge wheel in the gardens for christmas

Then a walk up the bridges to get my second bus. You can see where I used to live from there and a kick ass view of Arthurs Seat.

Im in pain,why is being a woman so fucking painful! But bless Paula at work she loaded me with Feminax and those heated pad things. She was even going to roll me some rollies when I couldnt when my thumb was out of order!

After feeling I have been taken advantage of at work lately with both my bosses out the office for the last 3 weeks and me dealing with every problem that arises he has given me a half day tomorrow with flexi credit. Thanks John!

My room is covered in glitter, I think I even managed to smoke some of it last night by mistake. Sent a pic of the masks I am making to Muffin. Her reply was 'Wow thats amazing, you are such a clever Burner xxx' What a fucking sweetie eh!

Well off to see the little sister tomorrow. Back home to the sticks. Ah the joys of people I used to go to school with and their little world. Her granny (Eda) which i call my 'other' granny is looking forward to me coming down as well. I got such a sweet text from her this morning telling my that she has lots of cosy Pj's and dressing gowns as its so cold and it would be less for me to pack. I think i am going to raid my copper jar and buy some flowers from the flower seller outside the shopping centre.
Damn these are the times I hate being skint. To be honest I think half my credit was spent on other people. When my best mate was preganant I must have spent £300 on her bump (Anna)

Well a think since Im sore,cold and hungry. Home made maccaroni and cheese in order. Thats before I have to go and see the twat Tim to pick up my mail he is opening. How do I know that? He called me saying I believe you want to go to Berwick next week (tomorrow) How did he know that? He claims he knws what the envelope looks like from GNER. After putting down the phone...how did he know where I was going and what date.
Fucker.
Mark says I should get him done for invading my privacy. Lets just see the state of the envelope first and lets face it, fuck all will get done if I report him. Thats justice for you.
(sigh)

Breathless...

Buy it. Download it. Borrow it without permission. Just please have this song in your life.

I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel

I can love
But I need his heart
I am strong even on my own
But from him I never want to part
He's been there since the very start
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel

Bless the day he came to be
Angel's wings carried him to me
Heavenly
I can fly
But I want his wings
I can shine even in the darkness
But I crave the light that he brings
Revel in the songs that he sings
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel
My angel Gabriel

Song~ Gabriel
Artist~ Lamb

Girl Geek

"I wish Bill Gates the best, I really do. I just think he and Microsoft are a bit narrow.
He'd be a broader guy if he had dropped acid once or gone off to an ashram when he was younger."
Steve Jobs, Co-founder of Apple Computers, 1997

Another reason why I love my Mac :)

Drool....

Just back from a wee cup of tea with Jenni. However the wee pot of tea for 2 was exchanged for an Oreo milkshake and a cup of tea. My god! Oreo milkshakes are the way forward...Im going to make an Oreo cheesecake one day.
But before that Im away to make a veggie balti...

Im clever aren't I :)

Bollocks

Just forgot my dads birthday. Now, this wouldnt be such a big deal as Im not that hot at remembering dates (unless you are in my outlook calander at work then you are fucked) but dad takes this personal.
Our family have NEVER made a big deal out of birthdays. Man, he forgot my 16th,had a car crash on my 21st and I watched him go into Asdas to buy a card for me and write it on the roof of the car this year.
I forgot my step dad's and I apologised and he was cool.
Ok my dad has 2 daughters and they both forgot but as I said it was never a big deal.
I feel fucking awful, and a grudge will be held. But sometimes its a cruel reminder that our family is never as tight knit as some would hope. If you dont put into something then you really dont get much out of it.
This has nothing to do with love. Its not a reflection on how much you love someone. Thats a completly different ball game. This is down to my head being up my arse and I forgot. Full stop.
Seeing him aprox 4 times a year doesnt help matters either.
Am I now just making excuses to make myself feel better?
Possibly, I feel awful.

Oh Honey Bunny...

I am incapable to eat toast and honey without it dripping all over the shop which every loose partical then sticks to. This is the conclusion from years of sticky experiences.
Unable to eat honey or should I just change from runny honey to set?

Think about it...

Song of the Day ~ Weak
Artist ~ Skunk Anansie

Why not?...

I may be taking my open mind to another fucking level....
For the next 30 days I may be preoccupied.

Reasons why may be revealed in the near future...

To the rescue....

Woke up to phone ringing. Face muffled in my pillow. 'Euuughhh'
My mate had a major crisis last night. Boyfriend got arrested and they split up.
So....
Tescos for essentials.
Chocolate Oranges
Tea
Pastries
Quavers
(pot noodle from last night)

So on a shaky hangover spend the last 8 comfy hours chatting with Jenni and trying to make her smile (it worked)
Tucked her into my bed for a wee nap while I did my ironing.

Im now shattered, Mark (flatmate) is away to his girlfriend so im taking full advantage of an empty flat.
Listening to Bill Hicks
Made lasagne which I will eat tomorrow after my union training. Power to the people.

Recieved a very sweet email from the Captain and a sad one from Jellyfish.

Thumb still sore.

Im away to curl up on the sofa and eat more quavers....

Remember remember the 5th of November

After a nice early night I spent the morning (yes morning) wandering round the farmers market and bought some mighty fine veggies. The quickiest phone up grade ever and bought some materials for the eye mask project.
Slept alot today. Felt a little bit down. Its hard to on November the 5th. Everyone having parties and playing with fire. My granny who I love so much died 6 years ago today. Taken away from me so suddenly. Its strange that some times time doesnt heal some things.
So I could sit there in the dark and keep sleeping or go and meet a few mates. Im skint and they decided to drink in one of the most expensive areas in Edinburgh. Fuck it I will just drink pints of cider.
Got drunk. Walked home at a sensible hour (midnight) to arrive home 4 hours later. Im not going to go into details but my journey home consisted of...

Kissing competitions between two friends

Peeing in car parks

Swapping rennies with tongues

Not getting the night bus home so the drive of the walk was the thought of a tasty chicken kebab on the way home.

Kebab shop being shut

Walking 2 miles to the nearest 24hr garage for pot noodles and chipsticks

Walking home with random suited man who wanted to pay for me...

Loose limb

Flat mate invited me out for a few drinks with his mates as it was someones birthday. It was nice to have some social time with him as we dont see too much of one of one another. Living with one other person I think its important that you get along. Laid back and music loving....we get on just fine.
So I was getting out one of those leather cube chair numbers and my hand slipped down the side. My thumb stayed on the top and popped out. Ouch. Pushed the joint back in and downed a gin. Thumb swelled up and started to get real hot.
Strapped the fucker up and my boss thought it would be great to take the piss out of me trying to take notes writting with my left hand (apposed to my usual right hand writting) yup...looked like a spider had been fed alot of class A drugs with a pen attatched to it and crawled across the page.

Yum

Today I ate 3/4 of a tub of Lemon & Corriander hummus for lunch.

Boo! (Whatever)

So I decided to go on to one of those Ghost tours around Edinburgh on Halloween. Previous experience encouraged me that this would be a good thing. Flash backs of standing in the pitch dark in the volts of Edinburgh (claimed to be the most haunted place in Britain) and people screaming around me thought this would be a well spent night.
Bollocks.
Met colleagues on the Royal Mile and a few pretty tame ‘ghost’ stories to then discover that the Beltane people had just been spinning Poi on the Castle Esplanade and were now marching down the mile to this sculpture they had placed near St Giles Cathedral. As my group started to follow the guide I was jumping up and down thinking along with enthusiastic pointing in opposite directions…
Free fire..
Shite £9.50 tour
Free fire…
Ooooh….
Shite £9.50 tour
I ended up on the tour and was pissed off that I was off the ball and kicking myself that of course Beltane would be doing something on Halloween (sigh)
To then look at their web site…look what I missed…
Samhuinn Fire Festival - 31st October, 2005
This year's festival kicks off at 9pm from the Castle Esplanade, and processes down to Parliament Square where the battle of the seasons between Summer and Winter will occur! Featuring dancing, acrobatics, fire performances and a magnificent battle, this is not to be missed!
The Beltane Fire Society is part of a large and important culture both in Edinburgh and the rest of the world. We hope that our efforts will inspire others to get involved in celebratory works around the globe.
To make things slightly easier. None of my chums were available that night so I would be Jessie nae mates anyway.
Edinburgh was HEAVING! Everyone was out in force and at the end of the night I enjoyed sitting on the steps of my favourite place in Edinburgh (Royal Museum) watching the costumes and drunken people stumble by while waiting on my bus home. But perfection was my ipod playing 3 songs in a row which matched my mood. Maybe some psychic link between me and my technology?

Mwwah ha ha ha!

Happy Halloween fuckers x